COR­NER Sus­pi­cious Minds

Moose Jaw Express.com - - News -

He was in the check­out line at Wally’s store when he said to the cashier with a slight south­ern drawl, “Thank you…thank you very much” I knew im­me­di­ately that: a) he was not from around here and b) he sounded and looked vaguely familiar. He seemed to be in his eight­ies and slightly over­weight, but he had a full head of snow white hair with a neatly trimmed goa­tee. He pushed his gro­cery cart with a slow shuf­fle, not un­com­mon for an el­derly man, but af­ter I had thanked the cashier and thanked her very much, I had made my way to the park­ing lot where the old fel­low was load­ing his gro­cery bags into a mo­torhome. Folks load­ing gro­ceries into a mo­torhome is not un­usual around here, but as I walked passed, I couldn’t help but stare at him and then at his per­son­al­ized Ten­nessee li­cense plate which read “SIVLE”. A lit­tle cu­ri­ous, I looked in my rear-view mir­ror as I drove past. Then I read his re­verse li­cense plate and it struck me like a slap­shot to the head…”ELVIS”. It couldn’t be…or could it! Elvis has been dead for over 40 years or so “they” say, but there are still folks who be­lieve his death was faked and as with any good con­spir­acy the­ory there are facts and no­tions. “Sus­pi­cious Minds” have been riding the “Mys­tery Train” for decades, with the­o­ries that sup­port a fake death; his grave­stone is prob­a­bly one of Elvis’ fake death great­est hits. His name is mis­spelled on his of­fi­cial tomb­stone with his mid­dle name Aron be­ing spelled Aaron. For some peo­ple “That’s All Right”, but for me, a star of his mag­ni­tude’s memo­rial should be ac­cu­rate. It leaves me with a “Wooden Heart”. An­other fake death the­ory is sup­ported by some ques­tions about Elvis’ fu­neral and his cas­ket. Ap­par­ently, his cof­fin weighed a re­ported 900 pounds and gave the pall bear­ers “Too Much Mon­key Busi­ness” when they were per­form­ing their du­ties; that is about 300 pounds heav­ier than nor­mal. It had also been re­ported, dur­ing the open cas­ket view­ing, the body seemed to be sweat­ing as if it was ac­tu­ally made of wax. A bat­tery pow­ered air con­di­tion­ing would have weighed about 300 pounds…co­in­ci­dence or does it raise “Sus­pi­cion”? Elvis’ man­ager, Colonel Tom Parker turned heads at the fu­neral by wear­ing a loud Hawai­ian shirt and a ball cap, which hardly shows re­spect for the dead. Add this to the facts, Elvis wasn’t buried next to his mother (as he had stated many times) just gives us “Sus­pi­cious Minds”. There is one the­ory for Elvis faking his death that has me won­der­ing. That is: Elvis was tak­ing his hon­orary FBI agent sta­tus a lit­tle too se­ri­ously and ac­tu­ally gave the Feds some in­for­ma­tion re­lated to drug deal­ing mob­sters. That made him a tar­get so he was placed in the Fed­eral Wit­ness Pro­tec­tion Pro­gram ne­ces­si­tat­ing his “death” to pro­tect him and his fam­ily, who ended up “Cry­ing In The Chapel” af­ter the faked ex­piry. This se­ries of events may have made it a case of “It’s Now Or Never” and if a mob­ster had put a hit on the King, his death, real or faked, would sat­isfy that dirty “Hound Dog”. Af­ter look­ing in my mir­ror and see­ing his li­cense plate with ELVIS (re­versed SIVLE). I cir­cled the park­ing lot and pulled into an empty spot a few cars away and rolled down my win­dow and yelled, “Hey Elvis” to see if there was a re­ac­tion from the el­derly man. I swear his head shot up and he quickly spot­ted me and yelled back at me, “Don’t Be Cruel”. This was one gro­cery trip that has me “All Shook Up”.

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