Woman is ready to hang up on con­stantly call­ing hus­band

Moose Jaw Times Herald - - NEWS -

My hus­band and I ar­gue more than I’d like. I am pretty easy­go­ing and pas­sive; he likes his feel­ings to be known. Over time I have be­come worn down, and my pa­tience has worn thin.

We are start­ing to re­bound from what I call “the year from hell.” His drink­ing and poor choices nearly put us on the street, and I was ready to walk. Things are start­ing to get bet­ter, but what we can’t seem to agree on is com­mu­ni­ca­tion dur­ing the day.

Abby, I am on the phone for a liv­ing. I can­not stand be­ing on it more than I must be. He calls and/or texts me up to 12 times a day. I can’t stand it. Even when I’m busy or give him a time cer­tain when I will call him back, he beeps in be­fore I have the chance.

I am now at the end of my rope. With all that I have dealt with, worked through and put up with, this is some­thing I will not com­pro­mise on.

I feel it’s more than suf­fi­cient to talk on my way in to work, maybe check in around lunch, then on the way home. He feels that be­cause I don’t feel the need to call or talk that much that I don’t love him. I can’t stand lis­ten­ing to the dead air or breath­ing be­cause there is noth­ing to talk about. Am I be­ing petty for let­ting this be the thing that will break us?

If you want to save your mar­riage af­ter ev­ery­thing you have been through, make the time for mar­riage coun­sel­ing. What may de­stroy your mar­riage isn’t your hus­band’s talk­ing; it’s his need­i­ness, and in­sen­si­tiv­ity.

Frankly, what you have de­scribed strikes me as con­trol­ling rather than lov­ing be­hav­ior. Af­ter the strug­gles you have de­scribed, you have al­ready proven your love for him. Be­ing at his beck and call dur­ing the work­day should not be an ad­di­tional re­quire­ment. in­se­cu­rity

My sis­ter-in­law is ex­tremely al­ler­gic to cats. We have six cats, but live 1,000 miles away from her.

When her 8-year-old son comes to visit, he has a Zi­ploc bag full of clean clothes that he puts on be­fore he goes home. The clothes he wore here are sealed up at the end of his trip to be washed.

I’m OK with this. But I need some ad­vice for an up­com­ing big fam­ily hol­i­day gath­er­ing. We have all been cour­te­ously asked to wash our clothes be­fore com­ing, to vac­uum our ve­hi­cles and to limit our con­tact with cats be­fore ar­riv­ing. Am I wrong to feel like it’s her prob­lem, not ours?

Yes, you are wrong. When a fam­ily mem­ber has a health prob­lem that can be trig­gered by the oth­ers, it be­comes every­one’s prob­lem. If the steps needed to keep her safe are too much for you, you should stay home.

Is it cheat­ing to proof­read your col­legeaged child’s fi­nal be­fore he/she turns it in?

To read it? No. To cor­rect it, yes.

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