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On New Year’s Eve, Bill was in no shape to drive, hav­ing had a few too many, so he sen­si­bly left his car in the lot and walked home.

As he was wob­bling along, he was stopped by a cop.

“What are you do­ing out here at four o’clock in the morn­ing?” asked the of­fi­cer.

“I’m on my way to a lec­ture,” an­swered Bill.

“And who in their right mind is go­ing to give a lec­ture at this time on New Year’s Eve?” asked the cop sar­cas­ti­cally.

“My wife,” slurred Bill grimly.

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