Funny Stuff

We have a friend of the family who is an utter menace. He breaks, mangles, smashes and destroys pretty much anything he touches. Usually not meaning to, but still, somehow he pulls it off.

Anyway, in the winter of 1996, a huge snowstorm tore into the north shore of Lake Superior. My brothers and that friend went out to Rossport, Ont., to take apart an ultra-light aircraft that had been moored near the dock. Upon arrival, they decided the storm wasn’t going to get much worse, so they anchored the plane more securely and left. By 11:00 p.m. that night the full force of the storm was upon them. Our buddy phoned a friend at Rossport to check up on the plane. The friend went outside and told them that the object he had seen cartwheeling down the icy lake earlier, was in fact, their airplane.

The next day, the gang went back to pick up the remains of the plane from off the ice. The only part that was salvageable was the rear tail section. Everyone was surprised that at least the plane wasn’t a complete write-off, knowing who its owner was.

The friend and my brother called a company in Midland

Ont., who said they’d be able to repair the plane. Together, they headed down with the plane on the back of a flat deck truck. On the way, they stopped for gas. As they were driving off from the gas station my brother, in the passenger seat, said he heard a large bang as they pulled away from the pumps, but didn’t think too much of it to stop and look back.

The duo had travelled about 100 miles before a police cruiser pulled them over and charged the driver for leaving a scene of an accident. The driver tried denying this, but when they got out of the truck and walked to the back, a small piece of the gas pump sign was lying beside what was left of the tail section. The tail section of the plane had caught the last gas pump and ripped it right from its mount. The destruction was completed. The plane was now indeed a total loss. Our friend didn’t let us down. His record for world’s most complete and utter menace remained perfect.