A-Rod makes a pretty loser

Ego trumps heart as Yankees come up short yet again

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that may grow up to be

columns, Vol. VIII, Chapter 1:

Remember Donny Osmond, when he was the little kid who always knew which camera was on him?

That is Alex Rodriguez, poster boy of the New York Yankees’ fifth consecutive failure to win with the most obscene payroll in baseball. A-Rod, he of the 10-year, US$252-million contract, is always on stage. He can’t turn the ham off. In the dugout, he rehearses his facial expressions as if he’s auditioning for a soap opera. At bat, he reminds me of one of those PGA Tour players who is so in love with his own swing that hitting the ball becomes secondary to making a good-looking pass at it — as if it’s the ball’s job to get in the way of the swing’s path. Only in A-Rod’s sport, the ball moves.

Derek Jeter goes after it. Doesn’t care what his swing looks like; hitting the ball is the thing. He’s a gamer, which is why he’s the Yankees’ heart and soul. Even Gary Sheffield at least takes a rip at it. One look at him, and you know he cares.

A-Rod? All the talent in the world, no ticker.

If George Steinbrenner is counting on him to be his clutch guy, he deserves his fate.

In the old days, the combustible owner would have blown his stack by now, firing half the organization, pledging to trade the whole team, if necessary.

But Mad King George has lost his fastball, and the Yankees are locked into all these contracts now, having sold their future down the Hudson while getting into long-term commitments with old spent forces. You can blame outgoing GM Brian Cashman, but Steinbrenner OK’d every deal. So now, they’re stuck with expensive underachievers like bloodless Mike Mussina and Mr. One-October, Randy Johnson, and all those big-name pitchers (Kevin Brown, Carl Pavano, Jaret Wright) who weren’t even around at the end. Not to mention Jason Giambi, and A-Rod (hitting .125 in his last 32 playoff at-bats), and Hideki Matsui, who looks about 70 years old, and might be. He only left eight men on base on the night the Yanks were eliminated by the Los Angeles Angels.

Check the birth certificates, George. Does it occur to you that the kid who beat your old-timers on Monday night, Ervin Santana, is 22 years old?

Apart from Jeter and catcher Jorge Posada and the very few young players on the roster like second baseman Robinson Cano and centre-fielder Bubba Crosby, the only reason any sane person would cheer for the bunch of inflated egos and self-important tools on the Yankee roster is manager Joe Torre. If he ever left, or got fired, the pinstripes would be a long, long time coming back.

An affection for all things old, including rules, may also be at the root of the Toronto Maple Leafs’ problems. No thinking outside the box in that organization, not when the box is stuffed with cash. Pat Quinn loves his veterans, and they’ve worked for him in Toronto, but that was then, and 2005 is a whole new world — one that seems, illogically, to have taken the winless Leafs by surprise.