Fight in public and you’re toast

ADVICE TO THE LOVELORN

Dear Rebecca,

My girlfriend and I had just gotten over a full-blown fight last Saturday and we went for breakfast. We had made up. At least I thought we had. Suddenly, in a restaurant, where tables are very close together, she started attacking me. Can you please tell all women that starting a fight in a public place is just not cool? I could tell other customers were eavesdropping. It just made me angrier. Can’t a guy sometimes just enjoy his omelette?

Dear Egg Lover,

I agree that private fights should not take place in public. However, most women, if they have something on their minds, cannot move on until it is fully dealt with. She obviously was not over the fight and still had more to say, or expected you to say something you hadn’t said yet. Most women who fight in public need to be trained like puppies. Say, in a firm voice, “ We will talk about this later. End of discussion.” Do not give in. You will eventually fight- train her.

Dear Rebecca,

I’ve been having an affair with a colleague for a while. People now are starting to find out. She has a boyfriend, and I have a wife and one child. I’m debating whether to leave my wife. I believe I am in love with this other woman and that she is willing to be with me. How should I go about dealing with the “public” interest?

Dear Caught,

I’m not going to tell you to leave your wife, that everything is going to be OK, and that it’s the right choice, although that’s not even what you’re asking, is it? You’re asking how to deal with coming out of the proverbial closet and dealing with the aftermath, right? First off, if you really want to be with the other woman, you should tell your wife first. That’s the manly thing to do. Why should she find out from others? I’m not going to tell you that the affair might lose some of its appeal if it becomes real, and that that’s the problem with affairs — there always comes a time when you have to

make a choice where it should

go — because that’s not

what you’re asking, right?

There’s a reason

for the saying “ You

make your

bed, you sleep

in it.” I think it

was meant for

people in your

situat i o n .

Some people

will be happy for you, some will not, and everyone will talk. But, rest assured, some other marriage will break up, and they’ll be talking about that. You’re not that special.

Dear Rebecca,

My good friend’s wife is constantly nagging him ( even when we’re out with others), and I think she treats him very poorly. She’s very demanding and he always has to ask her for permission to go out. I want to say something to him, or her. It’s getting worse and worse. Do you have any suggestions? I want to tell him his wife is being unreasonable and he shouldn’t have to put up with it, but I don’t want him (or her) to get mad at me. But something definitely needs to be said.

Congrats to the English gentleman who wrote in to me a few weeks ago asking how to go about meeting Canadian women. Congrats to the brave gals who wrote to me for his e-mail, which he eagerly agreed to give out. He had a wonderful evening, particularly with one woman, which proves that finding a man (or woman) can be done … and can be fun! ❚ Send queries in confidence to rebeccaeckler@yahoo.com.

Dear Worried Friend,

Sorry, I think you have to keep your trap shut. No good can come out of you saying anything. We’ve all witnessed friends in questionable relationships, and the only way you can say something negative about his wife is if he brings it up first. Who knows why he puts up with it? Maybe she’s stellar in bed, and he’s willing to put up with the other stuff. Maybe he doesn’t mind. Or maybe he does and they argue about it behind close doors. No one really knows what happens in a relationship but the two people in it. She’s with him, not you. Be there for him, when he’s ready.

I can’t help myself …