Vancouver’s year without snow
Don’t hate us, Rest of Canada. You’re covered in snow, and we’re not. Recent news footage show your frozen faces peeking out from frosted parkas or whatever you call those outfits.
You have more blizzards on the way, no doubt, but that’s your lot. Here on the West Coast, we understand your plight, more than you might think. We still recall with horror that time we were diverted to Edmonton International Airport and sat in its food court overnight, all flights cancelled due to ice. Nothing could get in or out. Tim Hortons ran out of donuts. That sucked.
So we’ve been there. We’re much like you, in fact. We’re shivering, and we’re sick of it.
Yes, our winter weather is relatively mild. For Canada. Unseasonably mild this year, the weather experts say. Temperatures briefly touched the mid-teens some days in January. Down at sea level, where we live crammed together on some of the most expensive former rainforest on Earth, we’ve not seen a flake of the strange white stuff since ... well, it’s been a year, at least.
Wednesday reached a more typical nine degrees above freezing. Envious? Make no mistake: It’s a damp and clammy mildness. The sun? What’s that? Five months of the year, we’re covered in moss. (No need to discuss right now Vancouver’s other seven months, also known as bliss.)
Two weeks ago, the city and region was hit hard by torrential rains.
A dreaded weather system dubbed the Pineapple Express blew in from the subtropics, from Hawaii or some such forsaken place. It dumped about 100 millimetres of rain over several days. Mass griping and umbrella-purchasing ensued.
This year’s winter is no laughing matter. The rains have practically wiped out a season’s worth of skiing on Vancouver’s North Shore mountains, where three ski areas are based. Runs are closed, with mud and rock exposed. It brings back bad memories of the 2010 Olympic Winter Games, when snow had to be airlifted and trucked to Cypress Mountain, site of several events. We were shamed by the international press, for our pathetic snowlessness.
Here we are, five years later. Magnolia trees are starting to bud. Rhododendron bushes, too. Local blueberry farmers are worried about the temperatures and possible climate change, because early blossoms can bring poor summer crops. No one wants to see the farmers hurt.
Recent rains brought floods. Some even blamed the January downpour for a seven-vehicle crash in suburban New Westminster. “Before [police] officers even arrived there was another two-vehicle fender bender just 50 metres behind the original accident,” one TV news channel reported, showing images of the pile-up. “RCMP advised drivers to avoid high beams while driving in the heavy rain, saying they can reflect back at your vehicle and diminish your ability to see other drivers.” OK, so things could have been worse.
Thursday is to bring another Pineapple Express; weather forecasters predict it will be at least as fierce as the last. Up to 100 millimetres are expected to fall on Vancouver by Friday alone. One hundred millimetres of rain: our own peculiar fate. More than the width of a passport, which is what many of us start reaching for, at times like these.
Those who can’t escape will stockpile groceries, batten down the hatches and ride out the storm. Perhaps we’ll call friends and family members back east. We’ll check in and commiserate about the weather, until you snow-bound folk curse and hang up in disgust.
We feel for you and you sneer at us, what with our slickers, our gum boots, our ubiquitous ferns and all that moss. We’ve heard the whispers behind our backs: We’re not Canadian enough. We try harder, conjuring freak storms in our minds, pretending to scrape snow from our windshields before driving off to work, high beams off.
We’ve been warned. “What if,” the Weather Network asked this week, after the Maritimes were walloped with snow, yet again. “What if Vancouver got the 128 cm of snow that fell in Saint John [N.B.] ... The resulting chaos would cause major disruptions, possibly cost some people their lives, and cost the city (and insurance companies) hundreds of millions of dollars.”
It has happened before, the Weather Network cautioned. “There have been two such events in the past century.” That’s right: Two chaotic winter snowstorms in Vancouver since 1916. Does this sound smug? We’re not like that. We’re damp and we’re chilled. And take this to heart: we’re due for your style of winter apocalypse.