5 cultural moments in 2036

Anyone with a horoscope and a newspaper section devoted to the year ahead can figure out what’s going to happen in 2016. But it takes real skill and insight to accurately predict what’s going to happen in 20 years. As such, here are the top five cultural moments for the year 2036:

1. Finally, after a run of successful sequels, prequels and spinoffs, the Star Wars Industrial Complex produces an instalment in its 27- episode saga that no one likes, and no one goes to see. It’s called Vors Voorhorian And Me, and it’s a mockumentary about a T- 65 X-wing plant that closes in a small town on Fresia. It only earns 250,000,000,000,000 Chinese yuan at the box office.

2. Topping the bestseller list in 2036 will be an anthology of fan fiction based on a fan fiction novel of the 50 Shades Of Grey double trilogy ( itself a work of Twilight fan fiction). It’s called Black and White, and the pieces in the anthology combine to loosely retell the original 50 Shades of Grey, but the characters have different last names, and there’s no sadomasochism, or sex of any kind.

3. The 22nd season of Serial is an investigation into what prompted the first season of Serial. Sarah Koenig interviews herself over a phone with terrible reception. Mail Chimp continues to sponsor the podcast.

4. Halfway through season 31 of Criminal Minds, it’s announced that this will be the show’s last. The popularity of the program plunged when future audiences got lost in what was considered to be the show’s artistic subtlety. Replacing it in the CBS lineup will be a new show titled You Won’t Believe The Perverted Sex Crime These People Will Investigate This Week.

5. Facetwit Chat becomes the most popular form of social media. The entire planet uses it constantly via their Apple iBrains, but movies and TV shows still fail to represent it accurately.