Suicide watch
If I have to see one more movie about a suicidally depressed teenager who learns life lessons from a pretty girl, I may kill myself. And if you find that amusing, you may get a kick out of this German- Canadian co-production. (It’s got a cameo by Udo Kier, making a joke about his homeland!)
Alex Ozerov stars as a pale, scrawny 16- year- old named Mike Tyson, a joke that gets its laugh in the movie’s first minute and then has to hang around uncomfortably for another 96. After a botched suicide attempt (the rifle was loaded with blanks), Mike tries praying for death, and learns that he has a fatal brain tumour. Thanking God, he declines surgery and starts shopping for a coffin and burial plot. (Mike is nothing if not organized; he even placed an obituary in his fictional northern Ontario town’s paper before pulling the trigger.)
But his to- do list is soon hijacked by a winsome dance instructor (Bea Santos) who is just young enough to keep their burgeoning romantic feelings this side of icky. It also helps that she doesn’t have pink hair, a Wildean command of the language, or any of the other quirks indie rom-com screenwriters often feel compelled to foist upon their leading ladies.
In fact, the performances by both leads, sweet and down- to- earth, are the best thing Coconut Hero has going for it. But the secondary characters are never developed past their defining idiosyncrasies. And the plot, from an awkward parental reunion to an impromptu road trip and some spontaneous skinnydipping, feels like it was constructed out of bits of other movies. If you haven’t seen too many of those, this one may still feel reasonably fresh. ΩΩ