Arming Philly fans not the greatest idea
GLOW-BRACELETS BECOME FLYING OBJECTS IN GAME 3
Vaguely hockey- r el ated items that may grow up to be columns, Vol. XVIII, Chapter 8:
DON’T FEED THE ANIMALS
It will remain one of life’s little mysteries: why it never occurred to the Philadelphia Flyers’ marketing wizards that arming a notoriously unruly fan base with 19,000- plus hand- held missiles might not end well.
Add a no- show by the local heroes in a playoff series they already trailed 2- 0, and what you got Monday night in Philly was a shower of white plastic light- up bracelets — meant as keepsakes for fans in memory of the Flyers’ late owner, Ed Snider — launched from the stands onto the ice surface.
Mr. Snider might not approve, someone said, but the guy who once signed the Broad Street Bullies’ paycheques would surely understand mayhem.
INSULT TO INJURY
One of the bracelets bounced off the cheek of Washington’s Dmitry Orlov as he was being treated on the bench for facial cuts received when he was run headfirst into the boards by Flyers’ Pierre-Edouard Bellemare moments earlier. ( The NHL handed Bellemare a one-game suspension Tuesday).
Perhaps the pitcher was angry that Orlov didn’t have the decency to suffer a broken neck.
Now, Flyer fans are being savaged for their behaviour, though far more of them held onto their bracelets than tossed them. And Philly i s, predictably, getting smeared for another example of the often misguided passion of its sports fans in general.
But really: why would any team, anywhere, give the crowd throwable objects, and then act shocked at the outcome?
A HARDY TRADITION
One night after the Flyers fiasco, the New York Rangers also handed out light-up bracelets, perhaps counting on their fans to resist throwing them, to show those savages in Philly what real maturity looks like.
You wouldn’t want to make a living betting on those odds, long term.
A small percentage of fans are apt to throw stuff at the targets of their wrath, that’s just how it is. Or just throw it because they’ve had a few beers and it feels good.
So here’s a pro tip for future freebies: do as the CFL’s late, unlamented Sacramento Gold Miners did. Don’t give away actual pickaxes, go with the Nerf model. (Highly sensible, considering Kerwin Bell was their quarterback.)
Handy rule of thumb: T- shirts good, lawn darts bad.
NIGHT AT THE IMPROV
That won’t stop fans from freelancing with whatever is at hand, of course. Sell beer in cans and someone with a weak arm at the Jose Bautista bat- flip game is going to hit a baby in the front row.
Detroit fans will throw octopuses, Ottawa fans may launch hamburgers when Andrew Hammond is between the pipes, Toronto or Edmonton hockey fans may toss a team jersey on the ice in disgust. But those are unlikely to take out an eye.
OUTRAGE, PART I
The boys on the NBC hockey panel were seriously upset by the Bellemare hit, especially Jeremy Roenick, a former Flyer. “This disgusts me in the biggest way,” Roenick said. “I’ve said it time and time again. The lack of respect of guys hitting people from behind three feet from the boards, someone is gonna break their neck one day and then they’ll make changes.”
Bellemare stood over Orlov after the hit, apparently upset by the injury.
“He realized what he did afterwards,” Roenick said. “But this is a chase for the puck from the blue line. You know the situation is coming. You can think about … the ramifications of what you’re about to do. And he still goes ahead and forcefully hits Orlov into the boards. It drives me crazy.”
OUTRAGE, PART II
The annual “don’t step on the logo” crisis has re- emerged, now that NHL dressing rooms are being overrun by reporters unfamiliar with the local rules.
You’d think every team would acknowledge the stupidity of taking up what little available space there is with a large logo on the carpet, but no. As TSN hockey analyst Ray Ferraro pointed out in a tweet: “If the logo is so sacred, put it on the roof. Putting it on the floor and expecting no one to step on it is ridiculous.”
BLAME TORTS
No one is sure when this absurd dictum started, but many think John Tortorella was the originator, then with Tampa, in the 2004 playoffs. In Chicago, the Blackhawks rope their massive logo off with airport- style nylon barriers. In Boston, the Bruins have an eagle- eyed staffer whose job is to chastise media who get too close to the spoked B.
Personally, I think reporters in each NHL market should take up a collection and buy a piece of nicely trimmed carpet in a matching colour to put over the logo during periods of media availability. Some teams, sensibly, already have these removable covers.
Then after we’re gone, they can pull the cover off and step on their own logo with their skates, as they do every day out of sight of the public, thinking nothing of it.