National Post

SOUND CHECK, PLEASE

Lamenting today’s restaurant racket

- Jane MacDougall

Do you like theme restaurant­s? I have some in mind that I’d like to run by you. What would you say to a finedining experience where all the wait staff vacuum while you eat? What about brunch where alarm clocks ring, not intermitte­ntly, but throughout the meal? Or how about getting together with friends at a restaurant that supplies patrons with leaf blowers?

They may not sound like enticing concepts, but we routinely eat in restaurant­s that are as noisy as these scenarios. In fact, we eat in restaurant­s that, if they had different designatio­ns, would require us to wear hearing protection.

Not so long ago, dining out was reserved for special occasions, travel and business entertaini­ng. Today, people conduct their lives in restaurant­s. A 2012 Ipsos Reid poll for the Canadian Restaurant Food Associatio­n found that 28 per cent of Canadians pick restaurant­s as their favourite places to socialize with friends and family. ( That number would jump to 35 per cent if bars were included.) Condo developers used to want retailers as anchoring tenants — now they want a popular restaurant as the cornerston­e of their new communitie­s.

When asked, “What’s for dinner?” about a quarter of Canadians will answer “Reservatio­ns!” According to that Ipsos Reid poll, around 25 per cent of us eat out at least once a week, and 18- to 34-year-olds are likely to eat out twice weekly. Yes, all this patronage yields more noise, but there are other factors at play. Cost-cutting measures are responsibl­e for some of the increased noise levels, but aesthetics also play a role. When was the last time you dined with a lustrous expanse of white linen between you and your dining companion? Tablecloth­s, along with plush carpeting and upholstere­d seating, have gone the way of rumaki and blue- plate specials. Sound is no longer dampened in restaurant­s — it’s amplified.

Ian Tostenson, president and CEO of the British Columbia Restaurant and Foodservic­es Associatio­n, says this amplificat­ion isn’t intentiona­l. Restaurant designers often fail to take into account operationa­l acoustics. We may love the look of minimalism, high ceilings, sheets of glass and hard surfaces, but the impact of these design features aren’t fully comprehend­ed until the joint is filled to capacity.

When live coverage of the Olympics, Happy Hour and an open kitchen meet 300 hungry patrons, noise levels can vault to industrial levels if there isn’t adequate sound- dampening considerat­ion. Just how loud are restaurant­s today? With a $1.39 app you can gauge noise levels in any setting. The DeciBel Meter Pro measures noise levels up to 110 decibels — that’s less than a siren or a thundercla­p, but about as loud as a rock concert.

To give you an idea of decibel rankings, a shotgun would register at around 160 decibels and firecracke­rs come in around 145 decibels. Restaurant reviewers now frequently assess noise levels in their reviews — and it’s not uncommon for noise levels to measure in the 90- decibel range. (Some edge closer to 100.) This is concerning when you consider that the Occupation­al Safety and Health Administra­tion says people shouldn’t expose themselves to decibel readings higher than 85. Its rule of thumb for determinin­g whether your hearing requires protection is “if you have difficulty hearing or understand­ing a ‘ normal’ tone of voice at a distance of about three feet.” Canada sets limits of exposure for employees to noise that exceeds the level and duration of 87dBA over an eight- hour period. Attention Earl’s Girls: there’s a hearing aid in your future.

We were meeting for drinks. The hostess seated us next to one of many vigorous water features and the tables were full on either side of us. Concealed speakers pumped a musical selection that included Pink, Drake and Eartha Kitt. We ordered, then shouted a few pleasantri­es at each other. Our server came by to inquire about our drinks. She brought her head low to the table, cupping one ear. I asked her if people ever complained about the noise level. “Omigod, yes!” she exclaimed. “I can’t even hear what customers are ordering!”

Tostenson tells me that restaurant­s are now what nightclubs used to be. Restaurate­urs recognize that they’re selling an environmen­t, and hubbub emanating from a restaurant is the equivalent of curb appeal in real estate — the buzz is supposed to be inviting. He recommends speaking to the proprietor if you find the din is adversely affecting your dinner out. “The restaurant business is incredibly tough and the last thing a restaurate­ur wants to do is lose a customer,” he says. “So if you find that a place is too noisy, speak up.”

Yes, speak up. Indeed, you may have to yell.

WHEN AN OPEN KITCHEN MEETS 300 PATRONS, NOISE LEVELS CAN VAULT TO INDUSTRIAL LEVELS

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