Season’s beefings to you
I am altogether exhausted by people being exhausted by how early the holidays start these days. We’re more than three weeks away from Christmas, and people have already been complaining about how we’re more than three weeks away from Christmas for the last eight weeks.
Every year people start complaining about how early the holiday season begins even earlier than the year before. When I was a kid, you could make it all the way to December before people started complaining about how when they were kids you could make it all the way to December before Christmas carols started blaring above the dentist’s chair.
It’s as though complaining that Halloween hardly even exists anymore ... well, hardly even exists anymore. Can’t we just take a moment to enjoy complaining about how people complain that Halloween is buried under premature Christmas ornaments before people start complaining about how Thanksgiving is buried under premature tinsel?
Leave complaining about Thanksgiving be. After all, complaining that American Thanksgiving is buried under premature mistletoe – that’s something they lost south of the border a long time ago. By the time Black Friday rolls around, people don’t even have it in them to fight neighbours for children’s toys.
What’s next? People complaining that before you know it, the holidays will start before Labour Day? At this rate, we won’t have the strength to complain about people complaining about how long into the new year people wish them Happy New Year. Just last year I heard someone complaining as late as January 31st that people were still wishing them Happy New Year on January 31st. That might as well be Valentine’s Day!
Pretty soon people are going to be complaining that people are going to still be wishing you “Happy New Year” on St. Patrick’s Day. If things keep going this way, people are going to be complaining about people wishing them Happy New Year right into September. It’ll be like complaining about how early the holidays come doesn’t even exist anymore.
The only saving grace I can see is that we’ll always have the Civic Holiday. Not even the most egregious of commercializations will ever be able to profane the inviolable romance and tradition of that glorious day.
I know it’s early, but Happy Civic Holiday, everyone.