AN UPDATE ON TEXTUAL RELATIONS
When I was a teenager, I used to sneak downstairs every Saturday night to watch Sex and The City. I remember one infamous episode where Carrie Bradshaw’s boyfriend, Berger, breaks up with her on a Post- It note. Carrie then spends the rest of the episode railing about how unacceptable it is to end a relationship with only a short written message. That episode, however, was filmed before there was a smartphone in every pocket. Back then a text was still something you studied in English Lit.
Today we text to wish friends a happy birthday, to tell our family we love them, or to tell off roommates for stealing our peanut butter.
And yet, many people still believe it’s socially unacceptable to break up with somebody by text. Such thinking is outmoded. In 2017, dumping someone over text message is a perfectly okay.
In an era where ghosting has gone mainstream, texting to end a relationship is no longer lazy. It’s going above and beyond by modern standards.
Think about what texting entails: you have to actually stop scrolling through Instagram long enough to type ten to eighteen words announcing the end of your relationship. You must do so with your own bare hands. In a technological age where many folks I know would rather order UberEats than walk across the street to get food, typing with your fingers feels like a Herculean effort.
In contrast, the idea of voice calling someone to dump them – or actually meeting them in real life – is just plain old- fashioned. It’s as antiquated as telegraphs, or ending your engagement to a soldier through a Dear John letter, like your great aunt did back in 1942. In the 21st century, no one picks up the phone to call you unless it’s a matter of life and death – and sometimes not even then! My father notified me of my grandma’s passing via text message, and I didn’t bat an eye.
So, if my dear old dad can use an SMS to inform me of a beloved relative shaking off this mortal coil, it’s socially acceptable to end a six-week relationship that way. Hell, I wouldn’t judge if you asked your partner for a divorce with an emoji.