WHAT IS IN A NAME?
WHY THE ‘ROMPHIM’ WILL ENSURE ABSOLUTELY NO ROMPING
Rompers are a commitment – a commitment so strong, so perverse and so fruitless that wearing this otherwise simple article of clothing might just provide the perfect contradiction to any and all negative stereotypes associated with the younger generation.
It takes a lot to wear a romper.
Preparation – that’s the largest requirement. Those choosing to wear this garment must also have the stamina to remain on their feet the entire day ( so as to avoid giving themselves a wedgie should they dare rest for longer than eight seconds); the willingness to hold off on visits to the restroom for lengthy periods of time ( or, alternatively, the self- security to endure the hate of everyone in the forever too- crowded female bathroom lines, as it will take you approximately one hour to shimmy out of what you fooled yourself into believing was a God’s gift of a find at Mendocino, and then another four years to pull it back on); and the shame that comes with the highly unattractive zumba grind of having to re- move it (which makes it completely impossible to wear on dates even if it actually does look fantastic).
Rompers are just not for the faint-hearted.
Which brings us to the “RompHim,” a new take on the romper that went viral this week. Beginning as a Kickstarter campaign by founders Alex, Chip, Elaine and Daniel, the “RompHim” was a well-intentioned – I’m sure – hope to bring about the “start of a fashion revolution.” “Why wasn’t there anything out there that allowed guys to be more stylish and fun without sacrificing comfort, fit and versatility?” wondered the founders on the website with a naivety that suggests none of them have actually worn a romper.
The design of the male romper seems promising. Unlike the originals, these ones have zippers and deep pockets, allowing wearers to store daily necessities like phones, keys, etc. And they also feature one more small, but important adaptation: a “RompHim” allows its wearer to go to the bathroom without having to take off the whole outfit. Unfortunately, when there is a viable need to change the name of a romper to “RompHim” – presumably to spare the general need of men for their masculinity to be constantly reassured – the chances of a man being able to endure all of the other frustrating indignities that come with wearing a romper are minimal at best.
However, I digress. Matched with binary colour choices, these outfits could revolutionize men’s fashion – for those between the ages of two and five.
Despite my personal distaste for the trend, I am a believer in freedom of expression. Fashion is subjective and to criticize someone for wanting to express themselves on what is already a harshly lit public platform is cruel and unfair. I don’t have a problem with anyone choosing to wear this outfit. My disdain probably stems from the fact that men wearing this outfit will never have to experience just how complicated it can be.
I will say this though. It doesn’t matter what the trend is. It doesn’t matter what you might look like in it. For as long as it remains a romper called “RompHim,” the man adorned in it will find no romping.
THESE OUTFITS COULD REVOLUTIONIZE MEN’S FASHION — FOR THOSE BETWEEN THE AGES OF TWO AND FIVE