WHAT’S YOUR LUCKY NUMBER?
The question of how many dates one needs to tally up before giving in to carnal urges has been hotly debated for decades. It’s right up there with discussions surrounding the meaning of life and whether there exists a benevolent God.
As I see it, dating is like a job interview. How many rounds do you need before selecting the best candidate for a position? Popular culture seems divided into two camps regarding when to get busy with a new boo. Some suggest waiting for the third date as the standard, while others insist on abstinence until the fifth. For example, Charlotte on Sex and the City made men take her to dinner three times before heating up her designer sheets. However, in the 2011 comedy Friends With Benefits, Mila Kunis’s character espoused the five- date model.
Since relationships are built on compromise, let’s split the difference. Getting sexy on the fourth date has the advantage of being unexpected. Contemporary love gurus like Matthew Hussey argue a “deep and lasting attraction” requires you to keep surprising the object of your affections. Apparently predictability is an attraction killer. In that case, why follow the three-date or the five-date rule?
Another advantage of waiting for the fourth date to consummate is that it provides enough time to get to know someone. Sure, you probably won’t have met their parents, selected wedding invitation fonts or picked out baby names, but you’ll know the basics.
While misrepresentation is a constant risk in the world of dating, it’s difficult to fake being a good person for four whole encounters. A jerk will show their true colours eventually, as most can only hold out so long before yelling at a barista or not recycling. Waiting four dates minimizes your chances of sleeping with a sociopath (or a Nickelback fan). Plus, it’s more fun than stretching the no- sex phase out another week. Why deprive yourself of satisfaction? Of course, the best advice when it comes to such matters is to do what makes you feel most comfortable. The world hardly needs any more slut- shaming or attempts to humiliate the prudish. However, in my experience, four has been a perfectly lucky number.