‘I FEEL LIKE I’M BEING DEGRADED’
Public Guardian moves to impede marriage
Sherry Brachfeld had her wedding all set for Dec. 29 — the venue, the dress, the ring, a man she loved.
Then came a crashing intruder. Ontario’s Public Guardian and Trustee wants to leave her at the altar, now and possibly forever.
In a Nov. 29 letter, the state Guardian said it had “serious concerns” that Brachfeld is mentally capable of making such an important life decision and is refusing to provide documents she needs for a marriage licence.
“I should have the right to marry and live my life," she said this week. “I’m a human being. I have a right to be happy.”
Brachfeld, 33, says she has a mild intellectual disability and is on the autism spectrum. She also admits to a hoarding tendency and problems with personal care — the very reasons the Public Guardian took over her affairs in 2017 from her mother, who had legally been in charge.
But Brachfeld says she’s been working on her mental health and points to her record of independence: working at Tim Hortons for 11 years; stints at Elections Canada; a couple of years on her own in Israel; moving freely about Ottawa.
She’s also graduated from the public school board’s Adaptive Learning Program.
“I’m not crazy like they think I am,” she said.
The Public Guardian, however, concludes differently. “There are serious concerns as to whether Ms. Brachfeld has the mental capacity to choose to enter into a marriage and everything that a marriage involves, including physical intimacy,” reads a letter sent to her fiancé, Jun Miyamoto.
He has an interesting life story. Miyamoto, 51, was born in Japan but is now an American citizen living in Cincinnati. He has a PHD in nuclear engineering and works as a software engineer.
He met Sherry in about 2004 while he was a research associate at Carleton University. He lived near the Brachfeld family home and the pair attended the same synagogue. (Miyamoto converted to Judaism and now uses the Hebrew name Yona.)
A relationship developed about 15 years ago and, despite his moves to the U. S., they stayed in touch, eventually rekindling their liaison and becoming engaged in May.
Brachfeld lives in supportive housing and gets regular help from the Tamir Foundation.
Miyamoto paid a $ 3,000 deposit for a downtown hotel for the wedding reception and the plans sped ahead. The esteemed Rabbi Reuven Bulka was lined up for the ceremony.
Then reality began to sink in. The Public Guardian said it can’t formally stop Brachfeld from getting married, but it can withhold her documents and control where she lives. It also warned that her Ontario Disability Support Program payments could be cut by virtue of the marriage.
Neither did it like the idea that Brachfeld would move out on her own — with a personal support worker Miyamoto would pay for — while he sorts out his residency and employment status in Canada, a process that could take six to 12 months. “They’re not letting me try,” said Brachfeld. “I feel like I’m being degraded, I’m being put down.”
The Public Guardian did not respond to requests for comments.
Miyamoto, meanwhile, wonders whether they’re holding Sherry to a behaviour standard that a so- called “normal” person would not be subject to. “What does competence and incompetence
I SHOULD HAVE THE RIGHT TO MARRY AND LIVE MY LIFE.
mean? It can be defined in different ways,” he said. “They are deciding her future based on what they know now. They’re not giving her a chance to improve. They’re making an assumption that she will stay that way forever.”
Rabbi Bulka sympathizes with the couple but, based on the Guardian’s position, can’t legally marry them. He says he “defers” to the expert opinion that Sherry is not ready for this step right now. After all, he says, the government guardian has a responsibility to ensure its charges are not put in harmful situations.
The Public Guardian has given the couple a couple of options: a court order declaring her competent to be married or an order that terminates the Guardian’s role altogether.
So the couple is reassessing. “This has caused a lot of stress and anxiety but Yona can see that I’ve been able to cope with it and manage,” said Sherry. “I love Yona very much. I tried to tell them that.”
Brachfeld feels she needs to speak up for other disabled people. “I’m doing this for myself and for all the people out there who are not able to speak for themselves.”