Turbulence ahead for new season of Bachelor
Vow renewals, second thoughts and math
Buckle up! The 24th season of The Bachelor lifted off with dozens of airplane puns and windmill references. Thirty women met Peter Weber — and like usual, they complained that they didn’t have enough time with the Bachelor.
Here are the weirdest moments from Monday night’s première.
The weirdest
intros
If you have 30 seconds or less to introduce yourself to your potential soulmate, what kind of impression would you make? If you were wooing a pilot, would you glide in on a huge fauxpaper airplane? Would you awkwardly and inarticulately make an off- colour joke that you would then clumsily try to explain later? Would you dress as the kind of structure in which this person and his ex spent a passionate night together? It all sounds very stressful, so it seems appropriate to ask: Would you bring along an emotional support animal?
All of those happened on Monday night. Three flight attendants joined the cast, one of whom tweaks the ubiquitous Bachelor cliché to announce she’s there for “all the flight reasons.” But the only intro you need to remember is that Jenna, a 22- year- old nursing student from Illinois, brought along an emotional support cow named Ashley P. Yes, a cow.
The weirdest
twist
The Bachelor producers love throwing in a twist during the première, but this was just confusing. Hannah Brown, last year’s Bachelorette who dumped Peter after he made it to the final three, showed up in the beginning for what seemed like an innocent visit: She wanted to wish Peter luck on his journey finding his co- pilot and returned a small pair of wings that he gave her at the beginning of the season.
Turned out Hannah was actually there to ruin everything. She made a second appearance at the end of the episode to host a group date and tell the contestants all about her most memorable night with Peter: the infamous fantasy suite when the two of them had sex four times in a windmill- shaped hotel. Minutes later, the camera cut to a private room, where Hannah was sobbing. She confessed to Peter that she constantly questions her decision to break up with him last season and instead choose Jed, which really backfired when she found out he lied about having a girlfriend before coming on the show. Peter said he wished she would have filled him in on these feelings sooner. Now, he has 22 women (im)patiently waiting for him to stop consoling his ex.
What will Peter do? As the TO BE CONTINUED sign tells us, we’ll have to wait until next week to find out.
The weirdest group date
The women arrive at an airfield, where a duo of female fighter pilots administer a pop quiz with math problems related to aviation, and for the audience, it produces the gleeful feeling of schadenfreude one gets from watching the question-and-answer portion of a beauty pageant.
After math class is gym class. The women change into clingy flight suits and participate in an obstacle course that involves wearing inflatable life vests, checking their luggage, and changing into an even sexier pilot costume. In the final leg of the race, pedalling kiddie bikes shaped like planes, Kelley takes a shortcut and beats Tammy, winning a one- onone flight with Peter. Everyone is mad that the producers let her cheat.
The weirdest
solo date
The first thing we learn about Madison, a “foster parent recruiter” from Auburn, Ala., is that she is game to play according to the rules that others establish. She was a high school basketball star, and her father was her coach, apparently leading her to multiple championships. He gives her the playbook; she just follows it.
We have reason to reflect on this later when Peter selects her for the first solo date, bringing Madison to his family home, where his parents are renewing their vows in the backyard.
“I did not expect this at all,” says Madison, and we believe her, because what Peter calls the “very special day” that he has “planned” for “her” is a horrifying thing to spring on someone you’ve just met.