This War is hell
Serious Hollywood star power can’t save Grandpa comedy that strains for laughs
Cast: Robert De Niro, Oakes Fegley Director: Tim Hill Duration: 1 h 34 m
The War with Grandpa, a new movie from the director of Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties and Alvin and the Chipmunks, was shot in the U. S. over the summer of 2017. That means the completed film sat out three hurricane seasons, several major forest fires, one quarter of star Oakes Fegley’s young life and the release of two great De Niro roles (in Joker and The Irishman) before finally coming out during a global pandemic.
Why stop there? Why not just smear meat on the film and release it in a lion’s den? Can’t imagine the critics will be any more kind to it than a pride of hungry cats would be. I’ll try to go easy, but I’m salivating here.
De Niro is not the only I’ve- donebetter- things actor in this tale. His best friend is played by Christopher Walken, seen this week actually acting in the biopic Percy. There’s a love interest in Jane Seymour (Dr. Quinn! Medicine Woman!). And Uma Thurman plays Fegley’s mom. That’s three Oscars and two Golden Globes above the line.
The story? Ed ( De Niro) moves in with daughter Sally ( Thurman) and her husband ( Rob Riggle) after the death of his wife. They give him the room of their son Peter ( Fegley) and move the boy into the attic. The kid decides this eviction requires retaliation. Ed follows suit. Cartoonish mayhem, comic nudity and hits to the groin follow.
The film is based on the novel by children’s author Robert Kimmel Smith, who sadly died in April, but at least didn’t have to see the film.
The screenplay plays fast and loose with characters’ motivations and abilities. De Niro is unable to operate a self- serve checkout in one scene, but figures out drone technology in the next, and then hacks his way into Peter’s computer. Riggle’s character has a natural aversion to seeing his father-in-law naked, but screams and stands stock still for minutes on end rather than, I don’t know, closing his eyes or looking away.
Oh, and Peter’s little sister, played by Poppy Gagnon (who I’m guessing must be in high school by now), makes the classic mistake of referring to the Christmas movie as The Grinch Who Stole Christmas (which presupposes multiple Grinches) rather than How the Grinch Stole Christmas, which is a how- dunnit. If How Grandpa Went to War had given me more to think and/or laugh about I probably wouldn’t have noticed this error, but I did, and it rankles.
There’s more, including a useless subplot involving a school bully, and another in which Thurman’s character becomes so much collateral damage in the intergenerational conflict. ( Also: Would it hurt her to act? At least De Niro seems to be trying his best with the admittedly flimsy material.)
The War with Grandpa is ultimately a war of attrition. Good luck making it through its 94 minutes before waving a white flag and crying surrender.
As audiences continue their retreat from physical movie theatres, this film seems like it’s trying to push them out the door rather than begging them to stay.