MANAGING WHEN EVERYONE IS AT HOME
IN THE EARLY DAYS OF THE COVID-19 SHUTDOWN LAST YEAR IT FELT LIKE WE WERE LIVING IN THE MIDDLE OF A THREE-RINGED CIRCUS ... [NOW] MY HUSBAND AND I ENSURE OUR SCHEDULES DON’T OVERLAP SO SOMEONE IS ALWAYS AVAILABLE TO WATCH OUR SON, FIX A DEVICE WHEN IT FREEZES, HELP WHEN THERE ARE QUESTIONS ABOUT SCHOOL WORK, PREPARE MEALS AND SNACKS, AND MONITOR BREAKS. IT HAS TO BE A TEAM EFFORT. — KATHERINE DAVIES, MOTHER OF ONLINE-LEARNING STUDENTS
Katherine Davies and her husband are both working from home. Their three elementary school-aged children, who are at different levels of learning and emotional growth, are also at home. “In the early days of the COVID-19 shutdown last year it felt like we were living in the middle of a three-ringed circus,” she says. “We were ill-prepared and literally throwing stuff at the wall to see what would stick.” Over time, however, the family has implemented strategies and coping techniques that have helped bring order to the household.
At the beginning, the most challenging aspect was allocating space, says Davies. “Our two daughters each needed a separate room to limit distractions, and enough space to physically exercise. Our son is in kindergarten — he requires constant supervision and needed an area for free play. My husband and I each needed a place to take calls, hold virtual meetings, and work uninterrupted.” It was a tall order, but careful planning allowed all three floors of the house to be put into full use throughout the week.
When it comes to business calls and work interruptions, it is a balancing act. “My husband and I ensure our schedules don’t overlap so someone is always available to watch our son, fix a device when it freezes, help when there are questions about school work, prepare meals and snacks, and monitor breaks. It definitely has to be a team effort.”
A key lesson the family learned was to ensure some fluidity when allocating the children’s time.
Says Dwayne Matthews, education strategist and founder of Tomorrow Now Learning Labs in Toronto: “Allowing children to move in and out of the virtual classroom and come up for air is good for their overall wellbeing. Factor in some ‘pioneer time’ free from electronics when children read a book, play piano, or even lay on the sofa complaining about pioneer time. It helps consolidate learning while reducing screen time. When it comes to concerns about children falling behind, parents need to cut themselves some slack. There is a lot of self-inflicted stress on this issue. Most children in Canada, and around the world have had their learning disrupted during this time. It’s all relative.”
Staying connected with teachers has been extremely useful for Davies. “Teachers can’t always know where the children are emotionally through a screen. Good communication can help them understand why our child is behaving in a particular way, or why we need to take a half-day away from school work to invest in time together,” she says.
Spending time outside for extended periods has been good for the whole family’s mental health, Davies adds. “It is something we took for granted before the pandemic, but it has been a constant for us over the past months. It has helped fill the void created when the support of grandparents, aunts, and friends was taken away.”
Helping families stay connected and part of a community has been high on the agenda at Ridley College right from the start, says headmaster Ed Kidd. Ridley is a co-ed Jk-to-grade-12 day and boarding school located in St. Catharines, Ont. During both shutdown periods, some Ridley boarders had to remain on campus while others stayed in their home country or province due to travel restrictions.
Ridley has consciously involved parents and students from across the country and around the globe in the development of a wide range of activities that have further deepened connections within, and beyond, the school. Such events include family paint nights, cooking classes, streaming of chapel, graduations and school plays, and apps like Sworkit that engage the whole family in physical fitness. “These programs, along with online gathering and wellness counselling, have helped at-home families to de-stress, build resilience, and really feel a part of something much bigger than their current environment. It has also helped make the world a smaller place for those parents whose children have remained at our school throughout the pandemic,” says Kidd.
With a full-time, full house, taking time for mom and dad as a couple and individually is challenging but an absolute must, says Davies. “These past months have certainly been an exercise in gratitude. We no longer take for granted having our children learning at a school. And we have gained a new perspective on what is really important. We may be missing our friends and family, but we are safe and we are healthy.”