Cheers to being on Putin’s naughty list

The news couldn’t have landed in a more appropriate fashion. In the middle of a Caribbean holiday — my first since the pandemic began — I received a note from my editor informing me I’ve been sanctioned by Russia.

At first, it seemed so outrageous it couldn’t possibly be true. My fiancé thought maybe it was a phishing scam. But then I saw the official list, which had also been published by Reuters. It was real: I’m one of 61 Canadian politicians, military leaders and journalists, including my National Post colleagues John Ivison and Terry Glavin, indefinitely banned from Russia.

“Well, there go my plans to summer in Moscow,” I quipped as I tossed back a mimosa on the beach.

Even by Russian propaganda standards, the list is farcical. Meant to be a reprisal for sanctions enacted against its own citizens, Russia is making a show of banning the very people least likely to want to visit.

It’s akin to a nightclub retaliating against noise complaints from the seniors next door by banning grandma and grandpa from Foam Party Fridays.

Personally, I’m quite fond of residing outside a Russian jail cell and not worrying about what someone may or may not have slipped into my tea.

My urge to visit a nation controlled by one of the most brutal kleptocratic regimes on Earth is less than zero. And, unlike Russian oligarchs and politicians targeted by Western sanctions, I can still travel freely in more hospitable, non-murderous locales. Such as the small slice of paradise I’m currently enjoying.

Which is how you know things are getting pretty desperate in Russia. To waste time on a persona non grata registry that carries the approximate weight of Santa’s naughty list shows just how limited Putin’s options are as his international power and prospects of victory in Ukraine shrink by the day.

It’s true I penned multiple columns over the last few months, even prior to the invasion, critiquing Putin’s regime, calling out the West’s dependence on dirty money and arguing for harsher sanctions.

I pointed out that simply calling Putin a war criminal

THE SO-CALLED STRONGMAN LOOKS RATHER WEAK.

is meaningless if the West fails to prosecute him in an international court. Or maybe it was calling on Formula One to cut its kleptocratic ties that earned my spot on the list. It’s always dangerous to come between insecure megalomaniacs and their shiny toys.

While I don’t want to downplay the power of journalism or speaking truth to those who’d rather bury it, there’s something pretty comical about a 69-year-old dictator who feels so threatened by a 33-year-old columnist half a world away that he bans her from entering his kingdom.

Suddenly, the so-called strongman looks rather weak.

This latest sanctions list shows that Canada — and Canadians — are getting under Putin’s skin. Being included is less a punishment than a point of pride. I certainly won’t lose any sleep over it. Instead, I think I’ll celebrate with a rum punch.