‘Revenge’: Millennials are now Canada’s largest cohort, outnumbering boomers

This week, Statistics Canada officially reported that Millennials are now Canada’s largest age cohort. Defined as anyone born between 1981 and 1996, Millennials have supplanted Baby Boomers as the country’s largest demographic. The reasons are two-fold: Boomers are getting old and starting to die, and there’s been a massive surge of new 30-somethings immigrating to Canada.

The demographic shift occurs just as Millennials are set to drive fundamental changes to the Canadian political landscape. Driven in large part by chronic affordability issues, Millennials have become a noticeably conservative demographic, even more so than their parents.

In Dear Diary, National Post satirically re-imagines a week in the life of a newsmaker. This week, Tristin Hopper takes a journey inside the angsty and confused impulses of an average Canadian Millennial.

MONDAY

Phone. Inferiority complex. Taylor Swift. Coffee. Brunch. Phone again. Phone old. Buy more phone.

Rent. Rent too high. Anger rent. Remember low rent. Wish less rent.

Tattoo regret. Piercing regret. Career regret. Hate self. Hate others. Play video game.

TUESDAY

Tent cities everywhere.

Triangle on gay flag now. Weird smoke on bus. Why black people in all commercials. Why pronouns in email.

Remember different. Remember affording things.

Remember Fraggle Rock. Old now. Sad.

WEDNESDAY

Procreate. Obtain baby. Not much time.

Baby expensive. Where put baby. Rent high. Home small. Anger rent. Hard make baby.

Wish house. Wish space. Wish family. Wish young.

Netflix. Pornography. Craft beer.

THURSDAY

Get phone call. Confused. Hate voicemail.

Hate open concept office.

Wish cubicle. Wish space. Wish alone.

See dog. Wish dog. Landlord say no dog. Hate landlord. Hate rent. Remember different. Remember having doctor.

FRIDAY

Old people different now. When child, old people fight war. Old people survive Depression. Now old people rich. Old people own house. Old people prevent build more house. Old people get more rich.

Resent. Remember different. Remember low rent. Hate.

They will answer. They will pay. Revenge. Enemy. Revenge.

Car broken. Can’t afford fix car. Revenge later. Hate self. Coffee. Phone.