‘Just say no to thin crust’

I’m writing today to warn you of a serious issue that’s currently plaguing our nation. Ladies and gentlemen, we are currently suffering from a pizza epidemic.

I am worried, Canada. But don’t mistake my concern for there being an overabundance of pizza itself – as such a thing simply isn’t possible. My uneasiness is rooted in the growing number of pizza establishments that specialize in New York-style thin crust. It is a trend we need to put a stop to before it gets any further out of hand.

We’ve all clicked through to read the articles on local blogs or scrolled past the social media posts from friends that feature a new pizza joint. We always hear about how great it tastes and how it’s unlike any other slice on the market. But when we get there to try it, we quickly learn it’s all laid out on a gimmicky thin crust, just like the dozens of others in the area. Enough is enough. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I dislike New York-style thin slices. They are quick to grab-and-go, often cheap and almost always tasty. As an added bonus, thin crust pizza doesn’t make you feel full after eating multiple slices. But just because we like one kind of thing – and like it a lot – doesn’t mean that is the only type we want.

I really like soft serve vanilla ice cream – but that doesn’t mean every new ice cream establishment should only sell and serve vanilla. There are plenty of other flavours and types of ice cream, too. We need more variety; a wide selection that gives us the option to experiment with our pizza intake. So who is to blame for this thin slice boom? To whom can I address my protest signs with catchy slogans? You are, to be honest. And, in all likelihood, me as well. If it’s only thin sliced pizza joints popping up, there must be a reason for it. The market has indicated to prospective business owners that it will support more thin crust pizza places – and so they keep going up.

But if you’re in a larger town or city, then chances are you have other options. Detroit style is out there, as is Neapolitan, pan crust, deep dish and more. If you care about the health of a variety of pizza styles, it’s up to you to stop your thin crust reliance and explore. Find those alternative slices and support them. Post photos on social media and tell your friends.

Let’s bring choice and selection back to pizza in our cities, otherwise we are simply resorting to the lesser of slice size evils.