National Post (National Edition)
Delivering compassion
TEEN WITH AUTISM LOST MOTIVATION FOR WALKS TO THE POST OFFICE ... SO STRANGERS FROM AROUND THE WORLD ARE SENDING CARDS TO HIS P.O. BOX
Carson Swazey does not read, write or speak, but he just sparked a spontaneous letter-writing campaign that's all about joy and giving — and it's gone international.
The 19-year-old Canadian, who has autism, will soon receive a torrent of personalized cards, mailed to him from strangers around the world.
Swazey received widespread attention after his mother, Amanda Kinney, 46, posted on Facebook recently.
She shared that he recently lost more than 34 kilograms, in part by taking daily walks to the local post office, 15 minutes away, with support staffers. There, he opens his personal mailbox, hoping to find letters. But recently the box has been empty.
“He received some cards in June for his grad and in July for his birthday,” she wrote on Nov. 5. “He enjoys opening the box and looking for mail and carrying it home to open. Lately there hasn't been any mail for him.”
Kinney said her son was frustrated when his mailbox was bare, which curbed his incentive to exercise.
So, she made a request: “Any letters, cards, pictures or drawings mailed to him would be greatly appreciated! Receiving mail helps to keep him motivated on his daily walks and brings excitement and happiness to his day.”
Kinney included her son's personal P.O. box address and wrote, “Please feel free to share this post.”
Stranger after stranger responded, pledging to send cards. Nearly 3,000 shared the post, and many asked about his interests so they could send him something he likes.
In recent days, Swazey has already received nearly 20 letters and more than a dozen gift packages to his P.O. box, including a stuffed animal, a handcrafted hat, sticker books and a backpack, with many more cards and gifts on the way.
“It was just beautiful. People are kind — they really are,” said Kinney, an oncology nurse who lives with her four sons in Coaldale, Alta., a little east of Lethbridge. Carson is the second oldest.
Since people asked, she replied that Carson loves nature, swimming and snow, as well as Christmas, shiny things and various cartoons.
“For me, this has turned into something much bigger than just him receiving mail,” she wrote. “This is about the compassion of strangers who are embracing my son with love and respect. His interests are being valued without judgment. I am truly humbled by this outpouring of support.”
Kinney has also received messages from hundreds of people touched by her son's story.
“Many other families with autistic children reached out,” she said. People wrote to her on Facebook from around Canada, the United States, the United Kingdom and Australia. “I am just so overwhelmed by the outpouring of support.”
Edith Edeus, 49, a teacher for special-needs students in Sterling, Ill., shared Kinney's post with her four children, who are all making cards for Swazey. She then showed the principal of the special-education school where she works, and they agreed all students would send cards.
For Kinney, the kindness of complete strangers has been surprising but delightful.
“People are just so generous,” Kinney said. “I wasn't looking for sympathy. I was looking for acceptance and for people to see and know my son.”
Swazey received a high school certificate in June after completing a life-skills program. Before the pandemic, he volunteered regularly at a local food bank, library and nature centre. Since his activities were halted in March because of the pandemic, he has little to do with his days.
“He has been confined to the house, and he doesn't understand why he can't go to the places he usually goes,” said Kinney. Swazey also has an intellectual disability.
Kinney suggested walking as an activity, both to occupy his time and to help him lose weight.
“As his mom, all I've ever wanted him to be is happy, and food made him happy,” she said. “But this is my son, and I want him to be healthy. I want him to live a long life. I knew I had to take control of it, so that's what I did.”
In addition to his regular walks to the post office, Swazey has been on a ketogenic diet since April, centred on low-carb, high-fat foods. Kinney said she has noticed a marked improvement in his energy levels in recent months as a result. She does not endorse the diet for everyone, saying it may not be the best choice for some but it has been helpful or her son.
And having somewhere to go every day, she said, has been a big motivator to exercise. Swazey has been going daily since June.
“It's a task that we do, and he gets a reward when he gets there,” Kinney said.
The reward is the mail, and given the overwhelming response to the Facebook post, it's likely his mailbox will be brimming with letters for weeks or months to come.
Experts vouched for the positive impact this will have on Swazey's physical and emotional well-being.
“There's a false assumption that people who are autistic don't want to be around others and don't seek connection. But we all want to feel connected,” said Kristie Patten, an occupational therapist and professor at New York University specializing in autism-spectrum disorders, who also plans to send a card. “This will be a big self-esteem boost for him.”
The mail for Swazey will also benefit others in the disability community. Sharon Cole, who administers a group for cognitively impaired adults in Moose Jaw, Sask., said her program is making homemade cards — including sensory pieces, such as fuzzy fabric, rhinestones, glitter paint and other tactile decorations — for Swazey, with the hope of starting a pen-pal relationship with him.
“They are just so excited to be part of this,” Cole said. “As we get to know him better, we will gear the cards towards the things that are of most interest to him.”
Although it may take him some time to sift through the piles of mail, Swazey will respond to each letter with a colourful drawing of some sort, Kinney said, accompanied by a note from her expressing what she believes her son would say if he could.
“Sometimes vulnerable people can be overlooked and disregarded, but I want people to see him,” Kinney said. “I want him to be valued. He deserves this appreciation and love.”