National Post (National Edition)
YOU CAN DO IT!
Train your mind to feel more positive
When you're feeling stressed, anxious or perhaps even depressed, as so many are right now, it doesn't help to be told you just need to “look on the bright side” or “think more positively.”
Changing a well-established mindset is a considerable challenge, but you can do it. You'll need four key assets: patience, determination, persistence, and self-kindness. Here's a realistic plan:
❚ Start each day the night before. Just before you get into bed, write down two things that went well or that you're grateful for that day, and make a note of one thing you're looking forward to tomorrow. Robert Emmons at the University of California, Davis, found participants who kept a gratitude list experienced greater happiness and well-being. And planning something positive will make the next day seem brighter.
❚ Begin every day with light and movement. Both natural light (even on cloudy days) and exercise boost endorphins, which in turn lift mood. Opt for the double dose. Find time every morning to get outside and take a short walk. Twenty minutes is ideal, but if you can't spare that, go out anyway. Any amount of time will make a positive difference.
❚ Smile, even if you have to work at it. We smile when we feel enjoyment and pleasure. But did you know the mere act of forming a smile can induce positive feelings? Robert Soussignan at L'Hôpital de la Salpêtrière asked participants to hold a pencil in their mouth, either in a way that facilitated or inhibited a smile, then showed them a series of positive images. When observing the images while smiling they reported greater pleasure. Practise your Duchenne smile (the “smile of pure enjoyment”, according to anatomist Guillaume Duchenne): lips pulled back, cheeks raised, eyes crinkling — and do it often, whether or not there's something to smile about.
❚ Make a social connection every day. Numerous studies have demonstrated the benefits of spending time with others. Hopefully you'll meet people when you're out on your daily walk. If not, a phone call or online visual meet-up is a good second best. Use the occasion to ask about the other person. If you show genuine interest, you'll soon find they're initiating contact with you.
❚ Find a way to be helpful. Jane Piliavin and Erica Siegel at the University of Wisconsin-Madison surveyed 4,000 adults and found volunteering to be positively associated with psychological well-being and self-reported physical health.
❚ Keep a running list of positive phrases. Whenever you catch yourself using negative terminology, such as “I'm useless” or “Miserable weather again,” write down a plausible positive alternative, such as “I tried my best” or “The days will soon lengthen.” Refer to your list frequently and practise using the new phrases.
❚ Be patient. Don't make the common mistake of giving up too soon. Phillippa Lally and colleagues at University College London found the median time needed for a new behaviour to become automatic is 66 days.