National Post (National Edition)
WHAT, ME WORRY?
WE'RE DEALING WITH ANXIETY THE WRONG WAY, A PSYCHIATRIST ADVISES
Anxiety was widespread even before the pandemic. Now, it's increased, with an increase in compensatory mechanisms, such as drinking, eating and bingeing on video.
“There's good reason to have anxiety right now. But I'm not sure that anxiety itself is ever helpful,” says psychiatrist Dr. Judson Brewer, whose new book, Unwinding Anxiety — Train Your Brain to Heal Your Mind, explores why worrying can be so toxic and offers proven techniques to stop.
Brewer, associate professor in psychiatry at the School of Medicine at Brown University in Providence, R.I., believes our lifestyles allow anxiety to flourish, and we tend to manage it badly. Anxiety is uncomfortable, so our primal instinct is to escape it. Instead of learning to tolerate frustration, “in the modern day, we try to numb our mental pain. And we have ready access to tools that can distract us from uncomfortable feelings.”
But brief distraction doesn't lessen our anxiety. It's part of what Brewer calls an unhelpful habit loop.
And we mistakenly think worrying is reducing our anxiety. In fact, worrying perpetuates anxiety. “We have a negative feeling of anxiety, so we start to worry, and that worry can either give us a feeling of control, or distract us from the worst feelings of anxiety.”
Understanding how our mind works — and replacing bad anxiety habit loops with healthy ones — can be transformative.
For example, you'd think accessing the facts would be a good way to quell anxiety — and indeed, we are wired to be curious. But all the information and misinformation now available can actually end up increasing feelings of worry — forming another negative habit loop.
Under stress, “if we don't have previous examples (our brain) can draw from, or accurate information, it starts to spin out of control. It tries to predict all of the future scenarios possible, and that spins into anxiety and worry. So anxiety doesn't actually help us plan for the future. In fact, it makes our thinking brain go off-line.”
We're primed to believe the worst when faced with a threat, he says: “In ancient times, there was no such thing as a deepfake sabretoothed tiger.” So these days, while combing the internet, trying to determine what is real and what's not, “our primitive brains are freaking out because fear is driving us.”
We're also prone to avoiding the perceived cause of our anxiety. So, if we're anxious that if we go out, we'll catch the virus, we might stay indoors — to the point “that we never leave our house.” Or we might put off an anxiety-promoting task — say, doing our taxes — which doesn't make us less anxious, but makes us worry even more.
Avoidance doesn't soothe anxiety, it briefly alleviates it. And the brief reward encourages our brain to repeat the behaviour, another habit loop.
The key is to develop awareness of anxiety, and “change how we relate to those feelings.”
First, map out whatever your habit has been — be it worry, procrastination or distraction. Next is to help our brains recalibrate how rewarding that bad behaviour actually is. “Because if it's rewarding, we're going to keep doing it. So if I'm worrying, is it solving the problem? No.”
This isn't about intellectual reflection. It's about “dropping into the direct experience. Worrying is not helping me. And what does worry feel like? Bad. If you can see that worry doesn't fix the situation, and makes you more anxious, you start to become disenchanted with that behaviour.” Our brain updates. “It's easier to let that habit go.”
Then we give the brain a better option to prevent it lapsing into old habits. The better option? “Kindness and curiosity,” says Brewer. This isn't feel-good waffle — it's science. “Both are intrinsically rewarding behaviours.”
When we numb our anxiety with, say, alcohol, one drink stops working, so we need more. Curiosity and kindness, on the other hand, “helps us open to our experience. Already, we're starting to feel better.”
Naturally, this takes practice. Say you're hit with panic about the possibility you made a mistake at work. By paying attention to how you're feeling — “Oh, my heart is racing” — you're training yourself to have curiosity as the default. “Note the physical sensations for 15 seconds, wait for your (reasoning brain to kick in), then ask yourself, `in the past year, how many times have I made a mistake?' If a hundred times, that's good information and means you need to change your behaviour. But if zero — `Oh, yes. This is just a fear.'”
You might check when you've recovered composure, “but do not immediately act on that sensation, because it will drive the habit.” Instead, access the evidence that tells you “I do a good job.” Meanwhile, recognize “this is my brain, trying to help me survive.” Ask, “Can I be comfortable with discomfort? Can I learn to be OK with uncertainty?”
As Brewer so wisely says: “Instead of fighting to tame the horse, you learn how to ride more skilfully.”