NICHE Magazne - - Romantic Fantasy - by Sy­bil Verch


Con­fi­dence is feel­ing com­fort­able in your own skin and be­liev­ing in your­self. You do not need to be the smartest, the fastest, the strong­est, the best look­ing or the most tal­ented in­di­vid­ual to ex­ude con­fi­dence. You just need to be you!

No one can give you con­fi­dence, it comes from within, and there is no se­cret weapon to ob­tain it. Con­fi­dence is like a su­per power when you re­al­ize what it can do for you. Con­fi­dent women have more op­por­tu­ni­ties in life, whether it's land­ing your dream job, in­creas­ing your in­come, suc­ceed­ing in business, find­ing your soul mate or em­bark­ing on new ad­ven­tures.

Con­fi­dent peo­ple come in all dif­fer­ent shapes and sizes. A young woman I grew up with was full fig­ured and plus sized. While some plus sized women feel in­se­cure, she didn't. She owned her body type and rocked it! She al­ways looked like a mil­lion bucks. Her wardrobe was flat­ter­ing to her body type, her hair and make-up styled just right with­out ap­pear­ing over­done. She felt good about her­self and it showed. Her con­fi­dence made her stun­ning and al­lowed her in­ner beauty to shine through. Her charis­matic per­son­al­ity was a mag­net; at­tract­ing peo­ple and op­por­tu­ni­ties.

So how do you build your con­fi­dence? I have five tips to share:

1. PLAY TO YOUR STRENGTHS. Don't try to be some­thing you're not. Make a list of your best qual­i­ties, tal­ents and skills then en­sure that you are in a po­si­tion to show­case them as of­ten as pos­si­ble.


Whether you want to ex­er­cise 3 days a week, get up in the morn­ing with­out hit­ting the snooze but­ton, learn some­thing new, or com­plete a task you've been pro­cras­ti­nat­ing on; make lit­tle prom­ises to your­self and stick to them. Do what you said you were go­ing

to do. When you fail to keep prom­ises to your­self, you be­gin to doubt your­self and erode con­fi­dence rather than build it.

3. DRESS THE PART. Peo­ple judge. The sooner you re­al­ize and ac­cept that fact, the sooner you can use this re­al­iza­tion to your ben­e­fit. If you are go­ing for a job in­ter­view, be mind­ful of how you want oth­ers to per­ceive you. I’m not say­ing to be some­one you are not; be au­then­tic and put your best self for­ward. Fashion is an ex­pres­sion of your­self, your cre­ativ­ity, your per­son­al­ity. What does your wardrobe say about you? What do you want peo­ple’s first im­pres­sions to be? When you wear some­thing that looks good on your body type, and is ap­pro­pri­ate for the oc­ca­sion, you will feel good. When you feel good, you’ll no­tice you stand taller, feel hap­pier and ex­ude con­fi­dence. Con­fi­dence isn’t de­rived from what you wear, but wear­ing the right out­fit can give your self-es­teem a boost.

4. GET OUT OF YOUR COM­FORT ZONE. Try some­thing new that makes you feel un­com­fort­able. When done, you’ll be amazed at how good you feel. The more you do this the more con­fi­dent you will be as you re­al­ize that you can do amaz­ing things you never thought pos­si­ble.

5. TAKE CON­TROL OF YOUR FI­NANCES. Money doesn’t buy hap­pi­ness, but not feel­ing in con­trol of your fi­nances cre­ates stress and neg­a­tively im­pacts your con­fi­dence level. Spend­ing less than you earn is the first step in tak­ing con­trol of your fi­nances. Avoid the temp­ta­tion to buy ex­pen­sive things you can’t af­ford in an at­tempt to shape other peo­ple’s per­cep­tion of you. This will not build con­fi­dence; it will put you in a weak fi­nan­cial po­si­tion and only tem­po­rar­ily mask low self-es­teem.

Bonus tip: Fake it un­til you are it. Be mind­ful of your body lan­guage and fa­cial ex­pres­sions. Stand tall, put a smile on your face and make di­rect eye con­tact. Let oth­ers see the ver­sion of your­self you want to be and you’ll be sur­prised at how quickly you start to be­lieve it your­self. Now that you know how to build your con­fi­dence, own it - it truly is your best out­fit!

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