NICHE Magazne - - Romantic Fantasy - by Zena Amund­sen


My ca­reer was be­gin­ning in fi­nance and my life was be­com­ing the place to prac­tice my pas­sion. I have learned things along the way from books, cour­ses, pro­fes­sional des­ig­na­tion, but more im­por­tantly from prac­tice. And while I can't claim that my hus­band and I are per­fect when it comes to money and re­la­tion­ships, I can say that we have come a long way. We have shared our money jour­neys and we have come to un­der­stand and honor each other's money mind­sets. We worked hard and our goals and val­ues have aligned.

One of the big­gest causes of dis­pute in re­la­tion­ships is the lack of com­mu­ni­ca­tion around your dif­fer­ences in val­ues, goals, and habits when it comes to money. Ev­ery­one has a unique money his­tory, story, and be­lief set that can over­shadow our part­ner­ships and cause dis­agree­ments. Ev­ery­one has a money story. What is it? It is your re­la­tion­ship with money. It is all the pain and all of the joy with some ful­fil­ment, all blended with the his­tory of your life. Your strengths and chal­lenges, the past in­ter­sect­ing with the present. It is vul­ner­a­ble to con­front the mem­o­ries and put them to­gether.

Be­com­ing fa­mil­iar with our own unique story means hon­or­ing the past, learn­ing from it and then cre­at­ing a new story, with abun­dance. This process is a pow­er­ful tool that will chal­lenge your be­liefs and help you trans­form your present day money story. This is the first step to cre­at­ing a pos­i­tive story that has you in con­trol and feel­ing pos­i­tive and pow­er­ful. Rec­og­nize and move past the feel­ings that are lim­it­ing your pros­per­ity and your hap­pi­ness.

My first money mem­ory that had to do with the con­cept of money was from when I was about 4 years old. I re­mem­ber shop­ping at the Sal­va­tion Army. I can still smell the musti­ness and vi­su­al­ize the dark packed racks and shelves of used items. My mom was a strug­gling, poor sin­gle mom and we shopped at the Sal­va­tion Army for school clothes and shoes. I knew that we couldn't af­ford a lot. I knew that Fri­days were a treat of fries and gravy at the Tasty Freeze. I thought that the 3-foot Christ­mas tree and home­made cut out hol­i­day cards as dec­o­ra­tions were beau­ti­ful. But, the used shoes from the Sal­va­tion Army that didn't fit prop­erly, and es­pe­cially the smell of those shoes, has haunted me. I knew that we couldn't af­ford the brand new light-up run­ners the other chil­dren had. I was em­bar­rassed by my shoes.

My first mem­ory is one of scarcity, mean­ing I felt like I didn't have enough.


That mem­ory helps me to ex­plain why over the years I have too many new shoes that I may never wear. It has only been since com­ing to terms with my re­la­tion­ship with money that I re­al­ize that there is an un­der­ly­ing rea­son why I have piles of shoes ev­ery­where. I don't nec­es­sar­ily ever wear them, some still have price tags and some don't even fit prop­erly. I have fi­nally been able to put to­gether my mind­set be­hind buy­ing them. I now stop and ask my­self why I am truly buy­ing these shoes or feel the need for more.

What is the true WHY be­hind this pur­chase? What hole or void am I try­ing to fill?

Now don't get me wrong. I have not cured my shoe prob­lem 100%. I have no­ticed that ev­ery once in a while a few shoes creep into my closet. I rec­og­nize that this cor­re­lates with when I am feel­ing vul­ner­a­ble and my scarcity mind­set slith­ers around. I have even rec­og­nized when I over­com­pen­sate with my daugh­ters and try to buy them shoes. Some­where my money mem­ory and scarcity kicks in and I re­tal­i­ate with­out check­ing in with my­self. There is an Ice Cube rap song I heard my teenagers lis­ten­ing to once and it goes like this: Check your­self be­fore you wreck your­self. That is now one of my mantras.

I have learned to con­nect my mem­o­ries and money sto­ries to my present self.

Have you ac­knowl­edged your money story? Can you honor your story and use it to trans­form your present day re­la­tion­ship with your money? Start off this fall with a pos­i­tive and abun­dant mind­set.

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