Queer Quips

NOW Magazine - Pride - - News -

What are David Bowie and Prince talk­ing about in heaven?

How much fun fuck­ing Je­sus and Mont­gomery Clift is. Guy Branum Hope­fully they’re mak­ing some great mu­sic, not talk­ing. Dan Gen­eral They are throw­ing shade at all the whack-ass artists out now. Nomi Ruiz

What’s your mes­sage to Don­ald Trump?

You suck. Sun Sun Die. Nomi Ruiz You need a gay man in your life to sort out your damn hair. Ac­tu­ally, for­get it. The hair fits the fool. Deko-ze

Bar­bra, Brit­ney or Bey­oncé?

Bar­bara Wal­ters 100 per cent. Sprin­kled with a lit­tle Hugh Downs... in ass­less chaps. Adrienne Fish Ari­anna Guy Branum Bar­briy­oncé, a mashup of all three. Dan Gen­eral Brit­ney. Black­out Brit­ney with the bad ex­ten­sions af­ter her head shave. That was her best al­bum. Nomi Ruiz How about a dif­fer­ent Queen B, Björk! Deko-ze

Your high school bully is in front of you. What would you do or say?

“Made it to NOW Mag­a­zine, bitch, come at me!” Then I would quote the Spice Girls: “I see ya, HOLD TIGHT,” do a high kick, apol­o­gize and run away pretty fast. Should solve things. Adrienne Fish “Let’s be hon­est, Joe, I’m deeply, deeply at­tracted to you.” Guy Branum I would make out with him and then say, “See, dar­ling, you are a whore.” Nomi Ruiz

If your life were an HBO se­ries, who would play you (other than your­self!)? Who should be your love in­ter­est?

I’d be played by one of the other fa­mous Cana­dian Ryans. Love in­ter­est? Jake Gyl­len­haal, please and thank you. Ryan Kelly I would be played by Lord Varys of the Small Coun­sel from Game Of Thrones, and my boyfriend would be a dragon. Guy Branum Jen­nifer Lopez, and my love in­ter­est would be Theo James. Nomi Ruiz

Who should be the next James Bond (other than your­self)?

I am full on Team Gil­lian. Ryan Kelly Geena Davis Guy Branum An­gelina Jolie Sun Sun Lana Del Rey Nomi Ruiz

Who’s your favourite queer TV char­ac­ter? Why?

Par­tial to a cer­tain QAF drag queen…. Ryan Kelly Hal John­son from Body Break. What. A. Man. Adrienne Fish Lea DeLaria, she plays Big Boo in Or­ange Is The New Black. She’s funny and doesn’t take any shit from any­one. Dan Gen­eral Nomi from Sense8 Nomi Ruiz It’s a three-way tie: Lafayette from True Blood. Never mess with that tough-skinned homo! Jodie Dal­las (played by Billy Crys­tal) on the TV sit­com Soap from 1977 to 81. I paid close at­ten­tion to him and tried not to let my par­ents know. ABC re­ceived 32,000 com­plaint let­ters try­ing to get the show pulled. Thank­fully it still aired. Marc St. James from Ugly Betty. On the sur­face, he was a witty and catty ’mo, but beneath that was a man try­ing to dis­cover him­self – a theme we can all re­late to. Deko-ze

My Pride out­fit “Hope­fully my “Gay Un­cle” T-shirt will have ar­rived!” Ryan Kelly Adrienne Fish My Pride out­fit “Some­thing slutty and cheap that fits my body right. Be­cause the body’s ex­pen­sive.” Guy Branum

My Pride out­fit “Ca­cophonous colours and light fab­rics. Shorts. Shoes I am com­fort­able vom­it­ing on.” Nomi Ruiz My Pride out­fit “A com­bi­na­tion of boots, jock­strap, harness, leather chaps and a big smile.” Deko-ze Sun Sun Dan Gen­eral

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