In-laws refuse to delete offensive photos

Dear Abby: My daughter was repeatedly date-raped at the age of 16. Her predator threatened to kill her if she ever told, so she kept it to herself until she could get away from him. It was a very scary time in her life, but with the help of counselling she is working through it and moving on with her life.

The problem is, while visiting with my in-laws it was pointed out to us that my mother-inlaw had made a collage of pictures and included in it the person who raped my daughter. In all, there are five pictures of him in group settings. When my husband asked her calmly to remove them, she refused. We have asked her three times, but she refuses to budge. She says WE all need counselling and that the request is completely out of line. Do you think our request was out of line? Appalled In Illinois

Dear Appalled: Of course not! Was your mother-in-law aware of what this person had done to her granddaughter when the collage was created? If so, her reaction is bizarre and unbelievably insensitive. Approach her once more and ask if she would agree to take the collage to a photographer so your daughter’s attacker can be digitally edited out of it. If that’s not possible, perhaps she would agree to take down the collage when your family visits.

Dear Abby: My husband of eight years will not resolve his foot odour problem. We live in a small apartment, and it’s humiliating when we have company and half the apartment smells like stinky feet. He refuses to wear socks, and his solution in winter is to open all the windows and turn on the fan as soon as he returns from work. The “airing out” never completely gets rid of the smell — and I freeze! How can I get him to change? Fed Up In Manhattan

Dear Fed Up: You obviously can’t change your husband, but you don’t have to risk getting pneumonia, either. Buy a large container of baking soda, and when your husband removes his shoes, dump a cupful into each one. The next day the smell should be gone.

Dear Abby is written by Jeanne Phillips, daughter of Pauline Phillips, the original Dear Abby. Write Abby at www.DearAbby.com or c/o The Ottawa Citizen, Box 5020, Ottawa, K2C 3M4. For a reply, send a self-addressed envelope. Abby covers postage. Include name and phone number if you want your letter published.