Ottawa Citizen

In-laws refuse to delete of­fen­sive pho­tos

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Dear Abby: My daugh­ter was re­peat­edly date-raped at the age of 16. Her preda­tor threat­ened to kill her if she ever told, so she kept it to her­self un­til she could get away from him. It was a very scary time in her life, but with the help of coun­selling she is work­ing through it and mov­ing on with her life.

The prob­lem is, while vis­it­ing with my in-laws it was pointed out to us that my mother-in­law had made a col­lage of pic­tures and in­cluded in it the per­son who raped my daugh­ter. In all, there are five pic­tures of him in group set­tings. When my hus­band asked her calmly to re­move them, she re­fused. We have asked her three times, but she re­fuses to budge. She says WE all need coun­selling and that the re­quest is com­pletely out of line. Do you think our re­quest was out of line? Ap­palled In Illi­nois

Dear Ap­palled: Of course not! Was your mother-in-law aware of what this per­son had done to her grand­daugh­ter when the col­lage was cre­ated? If so, her re­ac­tion is bizarre and un­be­liev­ably in­sen­si­tive. Ap­proach her once more and ask if she would agree to take the col­lage to a pho­tog­ra­pher so your daugh­ter’s at­tacker can be dig­i­tally edited out of it. If that’s not pos­si­ble, per­haps she would agree to take down the col­lage when your fam­ily vis­its.

Dear Abby: My hus­band of eight years will not re­solve his foot odour prob­lem. We live in a small apart­ment, and it’s hu­mil­i­at­ing when we have com­pany and half the apart­ment smells like stinky feet. He re­fuses to wear socks, and his so­lu­tion in win­ter is to open all the win­dows and turn on the fan as soon as he re­turns from work. The “air­ing out” never com­pletely gets rid of the smell — and I freeze! How can I get him to change? Fed Up In Man­hat­tan

Dear Fed Up: You ob­vi­ously can’t change your hus­band, but you don’t have to risk get­ting pneu­mo­nia, ei­ther. Buy a large con­tainer of bak­ing soda, and when your hus­band re­moves his shoes, dump a cup­ful into each one. The next day the smell should be gone.

Dear Abby is writ­ten by Jeanne Phillips, daugh­ter of Pauline Phillips, the orig­i­nal Dear Abby. Write Abby at www.DearAbby.com or c/o The Ot­tawa Cit­i­zen, Box 5020, Ot­tawa, K2C 3M4. For a re­ply, send a self-ad­dressed en­ve­lope. Abby cov­ers postage. In­clude name and phone num­ber if you want your let­ter pub­lished.

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