Resolution: keep automakers honest
Judging fuel-sipping claims tops the list
Iknow nothing of ancient mythology, but even a basic perusal of Wikipedia reveals that we have Janus, the Roman god of beginnings and transitions, to blame for our annual ambivalence to the dawning of each new year. As the gods seemed to see it, Janus’ two faces — one looking forward, the other back — were the perfect inspiration for learning from past mistakes and rectifying them in the future.
So here we have an entire month named after the two-faced one, not to mention our annual New Year’s celebrations. Considering that January is the coldest month of the year and that, of all our festive occasions, New Year’s is the most consistent source of stress, debauchery and hangovers, I am not sure we have much to thank ancient Rome for.
Being a lazy git, I long ago decided to follow Oscar Wilde’s lead on wickedness, namely that “the only way to conquer temptation is to yield to it.” The secret to a successful New Year’s, I took from his wise words, was that the successful resolution was not the result of an iron will but rather the making of an easily attainable resolution; thus my 2008 New Year’s resolution to learn to make a better mojito (the secret being Bacardi 151-proof rum and a touch of prosecco instead of soda water). Need I say how successfully I have been imbibing ever since.
So, for 2013, I am only going to resolve to do things that I am, well, already doing. Therefore, I promise to work out at least seven times a week, drive cars with abandon every time I am in a foreign jurisdiction with no reciprocal points agreement with Ontario and, yes, continue to drink as many overproofed mojitos as my liver can stand.
More germane to this newspaper, however, I — and all the writers in our Driving section — will continue to cast a critical eye over everything automotive so that you might have objective opinions and critical analysis of the industry we all so love.
Yes, I know that sounds all smarmy and self-serving, but take my word for it, it really does need to be said.
Just before Consumer Reports broke its news that some Fusion and C-Max hybrids weren’t quite living up to the phantasmagorical fuel economy claims that Ford was making, I too found that there was a massive gap between what Transport Canada claimed these cars could sip and how much they were actually guzzling. Alarmed, I took to Google to see what my fellow autojournalists were saying about the C-Max’s fuel consumption and met a big, fat silence.
Virtually every major American publication (often the first to test any new vehicle) would simply state Ford’s EPA 47/47 mpg and, thus, beatify it as more parsimonious than Toyota’s Prius V (44/40). No critical analysis. No objective testing. Just a simple regurgitation of a manufacturer’s claim as if it were fact.
Not a week later, Automobile magazine announced that the Tesla S was its 2013 Car of the Year and, while I have no argument in the awarding of such a prestigious prize to the futuristic vehicle, the whitewashing of its range limitations was simply galling. If CEO Elon Musk says that we will be able to conveniently motor across the U.S. electrically next year (that claim, in case you’re missing the dripping sarcasm, is filled with enough caveats to keep all of a major Toronto legal firm’s corporate lawyers whereas’ing for the next year), then it must be so.
It should not require repeating that an autojournalist’s job is not to simply quote a bunch of executives verbatim and then present it to you as fact. Our métier is to hold those very same executives’ toes to the fire, critique their claims as necessary and, yes, laud them if deserved.
It would be the height of hubris to claim that Postmedia is solitary in that pursuit. And indeed, if my editor will allow such a malfeasance as complimenting the competition, I will commend my crosstown rivals at the Old and Male as having almost as jaundiced an eye. But with this latest downturn has come a fear of censure. More often, journalists are worried that their continued employment is but one critical review away, with publishers thinking the surest road to continued success is to simply reprint press releases. Again, it might seem self-congratulatory to boast that we are simply doing what we should be doing, but I think our mission statement bears repeating.
On one last note in yet stressful early January: This last year saw me break a collarbone motorcycle racing and an ankle SUVing. I hereby resolve to not break any bones in 2013. Here’s hoping I still have a modicum of willpower left in me.