Cellphone users upset reader
Dear Abby: In today’s world, there are people who apparently cannot exist detached from their cellphones. In case you are wondering — yes, I do have one, but I use it only for emergencies, not idle banter.
If I’m trying to hold a conversation with someone and he/she is playing with an electronic toy, I get up and walk away. It’s obvious to me that my company isn’t worth the person’s time, so neither is theirs. If I am in a restaurant and someone starts texting, I get up and go and leave the person with the bill.
What do you think of the statement I’m trying to make? Over It In Paterson, N.J. Dear Over It: Has it occurred to you that the person may not realize why you walked away? You could communicate your message more effectively if you spoke up when your companion reached for the cellphone and SAID you’d prefer your visit not be interrupted because you feel it is rude. DEAR ABBY: About a year ago I caught my otherwise loving, loyal and well-providing husband checking online porn. I have trust issues that he knows about. I feel violated and hurt. He says, “Everyone does it.”
I take great pains to maintain my appearance and my body. Although I’m almost 50, many consider me to be “hot.” He lies about a lot of little things, but he seems to love me. My question is, is that enough? Do all men REALLY fantasize constantly? Betrayed In Florida Dear Betrayed: Porn is easily available, and many men look at it without it being a danger to their marriages. And yes, they do fantasize often. If you can, it might be helpful to encourage your husband to discuss with you his reason for doing it. It may have nothing to do with you, and more to do with issues of his own.
Before you let this ruin a perfectly good marriage, it might be helpful for you to talk with a therapist about your trust issues and what they stem from. Dear Abby is written by Jeanne Phillips, daughter of Pauline Phillips, the original Dear Abby. Write Abby at www.DearAbby.com or c/o The Ottawa Citizen, Box 5020, Ottawa, K2C 3M4. For a reply, send a self-addressed envelope. Abby covers postage. Include name and phone number if you want your letter published.