Criminal past clouds dating future

Dear Abby: I am a 29-year-old man with a criminal record. I got involved in fraud and embezzlement rings when I was in my early 20s, and served nine months before being released on parole.

Since then I have moved in with my mother, found a job and I’m trying to be the man I know I’m capable of being. I have reached the point where I’d like to begin dating again.

The problem is, I don’t know when the time is right to bring up my past. Can you help me? A Better Man In New York Dear Better Man: I agree that the chapter of your life in which you were in prison is not something you should reveal on a first date. But do raise the subject around the fourth date, because by then the woman will have had a chance to get to know you. Dear Abby: I am blessed with two beautiful daughters. One is 13; the other is four months old. For 11 years my 13-year-old, “Lily,” was my life. I had dated, but they were all Mr. Wrongs.

Two years ago I finally met a wonderful man, “Kevin.” He is good to me, and he and Lily get along, but he’s shy and doesn’t talk much. Kevin moved in a few months after I got pregnant.

I try to include Lily in our new family, but she feels left out.

What can I do to assure Lily I love her as much as I always have? I want our family to be happy. I hope to eventually marry Kevin. Lily’s dad isn’t involved in her life. Every time I try to include Lily, she gets mad and says she doesn’t want to do the family functions. Help, please. West Virginia Mom Dear Mom: Thirteen can be a difficult age and your work is cut out for you. You will have to be more proactive.

Kevin may be shy, but he should be encouraged to make more of an effort to get to know Lily. Also, Lily should not be allowed to hide out in her room and not participate.

If you are out of ideas on how to get your daughter to co-operate, then involve a family therapist to help you through the roadblocks.