Man wants wife to ini­ti­ate in­ti­macy

Ottawa Citizen - - PUZZLES - DEAR ABBY

Dear Abby: Do women ever ini­ti­ate sex with men or must they al­ways be wooed, ca­joled, begged or per­suaded? I have a fairly good phys­i­cal re­la­tion­ship with my wife, but it hap­pens only when I make the over­tures. I am left with the con­clu­sion that ei­ther the phys­i­cal act isn’t that en­joy­able or I am not very de­sir­able.

If ev­ery en­counter must start with me, and my wife can take it or leave it, is she just do­ing me a favour? Must sex al­ways start with the guy or can women demon­strate more overt in­ter­est? Undersexed In Ohio

Dear Undersexed: Many women — but not all — ini­ti­ate sex with their part­ner. If your wife doesn’t, it may be she isn’t com­fort­able be­ing the ag­gres­sor, her hor­mone lev­els have changed, sex may have be­come painful for her or she never got much out of it in the first place.

Not know­ing her, I can’t ex­plain why she never makes the first move.

But this I AM sure of — un­til you have a frank and hon­est dis­cus­sion with her about it, noth­ing is go­ing to change, and it may need to hap­pen with the help of a mar­riage coun­sel­lor. Dear Abby: A year ago I gave my brother-in-law a framed print that had be­longed to my late hus­band. Some time af­ter­ward, out of cu­rios­ity, I re­searched it and found that it is worth far more than I re­al­ized — sev­eral thou­sand dol­lars.

I haven’t men­tioned this to my brother-in-law. I would never ask for the print back, but would it be OK to let him know the value and men­tion that if he ever de­cides not to keep it, I might like it re­turned? (I would sell it and put the money in my daugh­ter’s col­lege fund.) Gave More Than I Thought Dear Gave: Level with your brother-in-law about hav­ing re­searched the print and ask him to re­turn it. When you do, tell him you need the money for your daugh­ter’s col­lege fund. Of­fer to ex­change it for an item with sen­ti­men­tal value. Hon­esty is the best pol­icy, and he may agree. Dear Abby is writ­ten by Jeanne Phillips, daugh­ter of Pauline Phillips, the orig­i­nal Dear Abby. Write Abby at or c/o The Ot­tawa Cit­i­zen, Box 5020, Ot­tawa, K2C 3M4. For a re­ply, send a self-ad­dressed en­ve­lope. Abby cov­ers postage. In­clude name and phone num­ber if you want your let­ter pub­lished.

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