Neighbour’s husband hurts friendship

Dear Abby: My friend “Eden” recently told me her husband constantly compares her to me. It came up because she asked how I was feeling in my first trimester of pregnancy, and I confided I have been having a tough time keeping up with my household duties.

Instead of sympathizing, she said, “Wow! I’ll have to tell my husband that, because he’s always talking about how clean your house is and how you cook dinner for your family every night.”

I have distanced myself, hoping things would get better, but when I see her, she invariably manages to get in a little “dig.” I’m unsure how to handle this. We’re neighbours and have mutual friends. I thought we were friends, but now I realize she harbours some resentment toward me for something I didn’t cause. Help! No Contest In Maryland Dear No Contest: Unless Eden’s husband stops using you as the cudgel to beat her down with, you can forget being friends. A way to handle it would be to talk to her husband and say, “Please stop comparing me to your wife because it is affecting our friendship!” Dear Abby: I have a friend in another state who has been posting on Facebook about her diagnosis of cancer. Her postings started in October, followed by more postings about delay after delay in the treatment.

First it was insurance — she doesn’t have any. Then it was multiple CT scans and PETs. Now she’s planning her own fundraiser, and I’m beginning to think she has made the whole thing up.

It looks like there will be no treatment until after the fundraiser, even though she claims the cancer is Stage 4. What do you think? Suspicious In New York Dear Suspicious: I think that if there is any doubt in your mind about this woman’s character, you should not contribute. And I also think that if your suspicions are true, your friend is planning to commit fraud and could wind up “recuperating” in prison. Dear Abby is written by Jeanne Phillips, daughter of Pauline Phillips, the original Dear Abby. Write Abby at www.DearAbby.com or c/o The Ottawa Citizen, Box 5020, Ottawa, K2C 3M4. For a reply, send a self-addressed envelope. Abby covers postage. Include name and phone number if you want your letter published.