Woman in 20s prefers older men
Dear Abby: I have led an unusual life. I lived abroad alone in my late teens, spent my early 20s travelling, and finished my college degree a year early while working full time. It gave me independence, experience and clarity. My problem is, in dating I feel leagues ahead of men who are my age. I am attracted to much older men. My current boyfriend is 15 years older than I am. The age gap is often a topic of conversation among my acquaintances, co-workers and some family members. My boyfriend has also experienced unwanted comments about dating a younger woman. What are your thoughts on whom a person should be dating in her 20s? And how should I deal with those who believe I am breaking a social code? Old Soul In Colorado
Dear Old Soul: I can’t give you an unbiased opinion because when I was in my early 20s, I dated older men. They liked to talk, I liked to listen, and I learned a great deal about life from them. As to how you should deal with people who accuse you of breaking a social norm, unless they have a valid reason for criticizing the man you’re dating, I think you should tune them out. Dear Abby: My husband and my son get along better with me when they’re not together. When I am there, they gang up on me and become adversarial. I have reached a point where I hate to be around them at the same time.
When I try to talk to my husband about it, he gets angry and blames me. I don’t think I can take
much more. What do you think? Three’s A Crowd In S. Carolina
Dear Three’s A Crowd: If picking on you is part of their male bonding, it’s unhealthy. Your husband may do it because he has anger issues he doesn’t express directly to you. Your son should not treat you with disrespect.
Before this takes a further toll on your marriage, the three of you should get family counselling. If that doesn’t help, you may need individual counselling to help you stand up for yourself or decide if you can keep living this way. Dear Abby is written by Jeanne Phillips, daughter of Pauline Phillips, the original Dear Abby. Write Abby at www.DearAbby.com or c/o The Ottawa Citizen, Box 5020, Ottawa, K2C 3M4. For a reply, send a self-addressed envelope. Abby covers postage. Include name and phone number if you want your letter published.