Royal baby perfect fit for silly season
While tabloids offer advice to induce birth, U.S. networks try to control timing of news
This British public appears to be fairly relaxed about the imminent birth of its future king or queen.
When the royal baby comes, it comes. That was the prevailing attitude of the handful of Britons who joined the horde of mostly European tourists watching the Changing of the Guard at Buckingham Palace on Monday.
Nor does the royal family seem anxious about the blessed event. Prince William and Prince Harry played polo over the weekend, leisurely posing for photos afterwards with teammates and onlookers. Queen Elizabeth II has been on holiday in the countryside, escaping London’s worst heat wave in a decade. William’s wife, Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, also fled the heat of the capital. She has been resting at her parents’ estate in Berkshire, which is said to have air conditioning, unlike the small apartment she and her husband have been sharing at Kensington Palace.
The only ones who appear to be on edge about Kate’s pregnancy are the media. Led by a national tabloid, most of the British media decided months ago, without citing any credible authority, that the royal baby was due on July 13. Contrarians from a few other news outlets, again without evidence, have claimed that the birth is expected on Wednesday.
The Palace’s only official announcement has been brief and vague. The baby will be born sometime in July.
The longer the media waits, the longer it has reached for fresh angles. Monday’s best example of overreach may have been an appalling report in the often inventive Daily Star. One of Britain’s less popular tabloids, it suggested that as Kate was past her due date she might try to induce labour by having sex with her husband.
“Getting frisky is scientifically linked to bringing on labour for fed-up mums-tobe,” the newspaper claimed an unnamed person from the National Health Service had told them. “Nookie stimulates the so-called “cuddlechemical” oxytocin, a bonding hormone that causes contractions. And sperm contains compounds that are used to artificially kick-start the birthing process.”
The Star also suggested the couple might wish to use other “tried and true formulas” such as eating a curry or pineapple.
One of the most absurd headlines has been “Kate Middleton vs. Kim Kardashian: Who Had The Tougher Pregnancy?” That howler appeared on the Hollywoodlife.com website.
The same site ran another story under the heading: “Unlike Kardashian‘s birth, which was kept as secret as possible, Kate and William’s labour and birth announcement will be a time of national celebration.”
That silliness may have been topped by reports of a Spanish artist who turned up in London last week with a painting of Kate in which it looked as though the duchess was basking in the glow of a halo.
It hasn’t all been junk. There have been several learned articles about the history of royal births and
‘Getting frisky is scientifically linked to bringing on labour for fed-up moms-to-be. … Nookie stimulates the so-called ‘cuddlechemical’ oxytocin …’
THE DAILY STAR Quoting an unnamed person from National Health Service
how princesses were much less wanted than princes. The Tudors were so famously horrified of having a woman as monarch that Henry VIII kept changing wives only to have his daughters, Mary and Elizabeth I, come to the throne. The mood was rather different when Princess Victoria became queen, perhaps because Elizabeth I was such a success or because, as The Telegraph noted, Victoria had “wicked uncles.”
It was 31 years ago that Princess Diana gave birth to Prince William in the Lindo Wing, St. Mary’s Hospital, Paddington.
This is the same ward where the royal gynecologist, Marcus Setchell, two other gynecologists and a midwife are to assist Kate with the birth of her baby.
The Sunday Times wryly noted that when William was born 31 years ago in the Lindo, which is not part of the NHS, it cost his parents 126 pounds a day for the birth while it now costs up to 6,420 pounds a day.
With Kate totally out of view since June 15, royal correspondents have been in a bit of tizzy over William’s cousin, Olympic show-jumping silver medallist Zara Phillips. She rode in a competition over the weekend despite being three months pregnant.
Television’s never-ending fascination with William’s mother continues Tuesday with a documentary on national television about the dresses that Diana used to wear. Camera crews from around the world, but especially from the U.S., where the breakfast shows regard the British royals as their own, long ago laid siege to St. Mary’s. When the baby is finally born, a helicopterborne Sky News television crew will follow the vehicle bringing the official announcement by car from the hospital to Buckingham Palace where, according to tradition, the news, printed on A4 paper and signed by the medical team, will be posted on an easel near the front of the forecourt.
It was reported Monday that the announcement will only be posted between 8 a.m. and 10:30 p.m. BST (British Summer Time). Alas, that might not be such good timing for the U.S. breakfast shows.
The U.S. networks apparently let it be known in meetings with the palace that they would strongly prefer the announcement to be posted sometime shortly after noon local time, which is five hours ahead of EDT (Eastern Daylight Time).
It is doubtful that Her Majesty was amused.