Ottawa Citizen

‘I could have warned them’

Survivor blames self for friends’ deaths after seeing train speeding toward town

- JANET BAGNALL

LAC-MÉGANTIC Ten days after the worst rail derailment and explosion in the country, Alex Catherine Gagnon still thinks she could have and should have warned the people at the Musi-Café that an out-of-control train was hurtling toward them.

“I blame myself,” said the 17-year-old Gagnon. “I could have texted friends I knew were at Musi-Café. I could have warned them.”

Gagnon and her friend Daniel Sivret worked till about 11 that July 5 night, a lovely summer evening in Lac-Mégantic. People were piled into MusiCafé to hear two local singers, Steff and Kriss.

A birthday party was also underway at the popular bar, Gagnon said.

At Ariko, which she described as more of an upscale restaurant, “we closed early,” she said.

“It’s not like in Montreal. We don’t compete with each other. Because Musi- Café was having a big evening, we closed around 11 p.m.”

That is the last really carefree moment Gagnon has known.

As she carefully went through the next two-and-a-hours of her life in an interview Tuesday, she combed through every action and thought, looking for the point where it all would have turned out very differentl­y.

If she had texted her friends when she saw the train coming down the track too fast. If she’d stopped in to have a drink at Musi-Café. If she hadn’t forgotten to bring money with her. If Sivret hadn’t been running out of gas.

It was when they drove after they finished work to the outskirts of Lac-Mégantic, to the roundabout, to try to buy gas, that Gagnon saw the train.

“It was going too fast,” she said. “And there was no fire underneath, nothing to show the brakes were on. I said to Daniel: ‘ Imagine if it derails? And explodes?’”

And from that one thought has come a sense of overwhelmi­ng guilt.

The problem was that at the time she didn’t really believe her eyes. She thought the train would stop in time. She told her mother afterward that she wishes the train had exploded where she and Sivret first saw it, on the outskirts of town where the few businesses were closed and there was no one around.

When it did explode, she and Sivret were at his house, near the high school.

“It looked like lightning, but Daniel said it wasn’t lightning. Lightning doesn’t look like that.”

Since that moment, Gagnon has not stopped trying to help out. ‘For days now, she has volunteere­d at the high school, where the Red Cross fed and housed more than 200 evacuees for several days. ‘“Whatever they wanted, I was there, ready to help out,” she said. ‘“I lost consciousn­ess at one point, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep and then I just lost consciousn­ess.”

Her father wants her to get on with her life, she said, but she can’t let go of the idea that she could have saved at least some of the people at Musi-Café.

It’s too soon to move on, she said. She can’t believe he suggested it.

 ?? RYAN REMIORZ/THE CANADIAN PRESS ?? Firefighte­rs pass the crash site in Lac-Mégantic on Tuesday, the first day media was allowed in to see the disaster zone.
RYAN REMIORZ/THE CANADIAN PRESS Firefighte­rs pass the crash site in Lac-Mégantic on Tuesday, the first day media was allowed in to see the disaster zone.
 ?? VINCENZO D’ALTO/POSTMEDIA NEWS ?? Alex Catherine Gagnon shares a hug with Steve Gabriel. She’s been volunteeri­ng with survivors since the disaster.
VINCENZO D’ALTO/POSTMEDIA NEWS Alex Catherine Gagnon shares a hug with Steve Gabriel. She’s been volunteeri­ng with survivors since the disaster.

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