Making the most of the MOVE TO UNIVERSITY
Author offers tips learned from a lifetime of changing addresses
The end of August is typically moving time for university students who are heading to residence or even an apartment off-campus. It’s a time Cindy Babyn knows too well. More than 20 years ago she moved out of her Toronto foster home to stay with friends, before moving again to study at university. Only then there was no manual or guide to prepare her for the big leap from home to university, she says.
Three years ago when her niece was headed to university Babyn decided to assist her.
“My niece was turning 17, and I just thought I’d start writing her some tips because I’ve moved so many times,” said Cindy Babyn, 41, a senior investment officer at the Department of Foreign Affairs, Trade and Development Canada.
Those early tips and some further research resulted in Moving Out! A Young Adult’s Guide to Living on Your Own (General Store Publishing House). The 117-page book is full of practical advice; from how to find the right apartment and roommate, to the emotional and social aspects of living on your own, to financial tips, including information on paying income tax.
“As many times as I’ve moved, I’ve learned something every single time, so I thought it would be interesting to hear from other people as well,” says Babyn who includes interviews in her book with 26 people about their experiences.
She says she’s moved more than 20 times, with stops in Toronto; Ottawa; Gatineau; Chelsea, Que.; Rotterdam, the Netherlands; and a village near Barcelona, Spain.
“As a young person, I had no guidance before I left home about how it could be like, or what I could face,” says Babyn, who left a foster home at 17. “It’s such a mystery to move out of your family home and be on your own. Everything is new, you leave everything that is familiar, and you just have to learn so many new things,” she says.
She says parents should prepare their children for life outside the family home by teaching them how to run a household, cooking, cleaning, financial matters and budgeting.
“I can’t believe how many people I interviewed who said they didn’t know how to do laundry. That’s pretty simple; a parent can teach it.”
Babyn says once a student has found a place they should have a discussion beforehand with their roommate about financial matters. She says students need to respect and adhere to the noise regulations in the building. She says one of the most important things is finding the right roommate.
“I like to go to bed early, I don’t like to party, and I was always able to match myself with someone who was of a similar mind. You can find someone with the same values and lifestyle habits; otherwise it creates too many problems.
“Having a flexibility with people is also important. For example, I’m not a neat freak, but I generally lived with people who were more neat than I was, so we’d need to have conversations about when the cleaning would be done. You need to have flexibility and have some give-andtake to respect somebody else’s values at home.”
She says before renting an apartment you should take along a family member or a friend to check out the accommodation. She says it’s a good idea to take an inventory of your belongings to avoid duplication with your roommate. And if you’re on a tight budget, buy second-hand items from recognized websites, she says. Parents, too, must play a role. “Reassure your kids that you’re only a phone call away. You can give them a medicine supply (painkillers, bandages, rubbing alcohol) and help them with bus transportation so they can get from point A to B,” she says. Babyn says her second book, Moving Out! Moving Through Life Transitions, coming out this fall, will dig a little deeper into more personal stories about moving.
“Often moves are triggered by something, either by going to university for the first time, moving in with a boyfriend, getting through a divorce, or a person moving into a seniors’ home. I have stories from people who are going through these kind of things, from parents who are grappling with their children leaving home, to foster children who are moving on. It’s interesting how people cope with these moves and what they learn.”
On a personal level, Babyn includes a story in the book about helping her birth mother get into a long-term care facility, something she had no knowledge about and had to research.
“Even after moving more than 20 times, it was a complete mystery on how to get an aging parent to move. I learned a lot about that kind of a move and in trying to get adequate care for your parents. It’s very stressful,” she said.