Anonymity key to program members

Dear Abby: I’m writing about the letter you printed from “Somewhere in the South” (May 26) who heard someone confess to a crime, committed at age 12, during one of his Narcotics Anonymous (NA) meetings. The person asked if he should go to the police. You advised him to talk about it to the “group leader.”

Abby, in a 12-step program, there is no formal leader who has a responsibility to report anything to the authorities. There are usually discussion groups led by someone chosen for the night.

I am not condoning what the person did at that young age. It was a horrible act. But 12-step programs are based on ANONYMITY. Reporting what is heard at meetings is completely against what 12-step meetings are all about. It was unfair of you to place responsibility on someone who is there for his OWN addiction to tell on another group member. Anonymous In The USA Dear Anonymous: I received a ton of criticism for my response to that letter. Readers like you wrote to point out that I was misinformed about how these programs work; others berated me for not insisting the writer notify the police immediately.

While it would be satisfying to see “justice done,” I could not bring myself to recommend going against the principle upon which these 12-step programs that have helped thousands of people is based. Another principle of these programs is that people who have hurt others must make amends for what they have done. However, this is the responsibility of the person who committed the crime — NOT someone who overheard mention of it at a meeting. Read on: Dear Abby: As a 30-year member, I can say with certainty that some meeting attendees are grandiose and others are mentally ill. I have frequently heard disclosures that I later determined to be untrue. The advice for members offered by our NA traditions is, “Take what you can use (in one’s own recovery) and leave the rest of what one hears at a meeting.” Charles In Illinois