Ex-army man deserves a chance
Dear Abby: I’m in my 50s and retired from the military. I joined the military early and the demands of military life made it hard for me to meet or date anyone. I can’t seem to convince women to date me. They say I “have no relationship history” so I don’t know how to compromise or share. What on earth do I say to convince women to take a chance with me? Frustrated In Texas Dear Frustrated: I don’t know what pop psychologist came up with the thesis that never-married men are to be avoided. If anything, your letter shows how dangerous it is to make blanket generalizations. A man like you has much to offer. You are stable, have no bitter ex-wives who will interfere in a relationship, no children who are still trying to “find” themselves or tell you they hate your lady friends, and no alimony. I assume you are financially secure, and after a life in the military, have taken care of yourself physically. Perhaps you should mention this to the next woman who tells you she doesn’t want to date you because you have no “history.” Dear Abby: My partner, “Kevin,” and I have been together for 12 years. Although we have a close and loving relationship, there is one major sticking point.
I am 19 years younger than Kevin and very outgoing. I enjoy spending time with friends and socializing. However, if I become friends with someone, Kevin will find something wrong with the person, make unkind comments about them to me and make me feel guilty for wanting to be with them. The friend’s gender or sexual orientation has no bearing. He doesn’t feel a need to change. What should I do? “Dan” in Pittsburgh Dear “Dan”: Start by recognizing that what Kevin is doing may be a reflection of his insecurity. The next time you become friendly with someone and Kevin starts putting the person down, tell him he’s entitled to his opinion and if he’d like to join you, he is welcome. If not, you’ll see him later. Mature adults can do that and still have a healthy relationship. Dear Abby is written by Jeanne Phillips, daughter of Pauline Phillips, the original Dear Abby. Write Abby at www.DearAbby.com or c/o The Ottawa Citizen, Box 5020, Ottawa, K2C 3M4. For a reply, send a self-addressed envelope. Abby covers postage. Include name and phone number if you want your letter published.