Ottawa Citizen

Husband’s chats with friend hurt wife

- DEAR ABBY Dear Abby is written by Jeanne Phillips, daughter of Pauline Phillips, the original Dear Abby. Write Abby at www.DearAbby.com or c/o The Ottawa Citizen, Box 5020, Ottawa, K2C 3M4. For a reply, send a self-addressed envelope. Abby covers postage.

Dear Abby: While I was out of town, my husband, “Miles,” ran into his high school girlfriend at a party hosted by good friends of ours. She has been through a bad divorce, and Miles insists his desire to keep in touch with her is merely concern for a dear friend. Until I put a stop to it, he was calling her every night, talking with her for at least an hour at a time.

I have now insisted that he call her only once a week and in my presence. He’s complying, but it distresses me to hear him enjoy the conversati­on so much. Miles truly cares about her and she makes him laugh. He says he loves only me and will never leave me. He’s a good man and I believe him, but ...

How should I handle this? I don’t want to forbid him to talk to her, but I am feeling very insecure. We have been married 30 years. Threatened In Kentucky Dear Threatened: Tell your husband you know he loves you, has good morals and would never leave you, but that you feel intimidate­d by his renewed relationsh­ip with his high school sweetheart. Tell him you know he is kind-hearted, but for YOUR mental health to please consider winding down these conversati­ons. It would be a kindness for him to recommend a counsellor to his friend to help her resolve her issues. Dear Abby: I’m 27 and the mother of a six-year-old boy. I kiss him on the mouth and never thought twice about it until today, when my husband told me it’s “creepy” that I do it at my son’s age.

In my family we have always kissed on the mouth, and I still kiss my mother this way. Is it “weird” or inappropri­ate? I didn’t think so, but now I’m concerned. “Smoochy” In Tacoma, Wash. Dear “Smoochy:” Did you also kiss your father on the mouth? Different families have different customs, and if your husband spent much time around your family he should have noticed that. I don’t see anything weird or inappropri­ate about the way you kiss your child. If your son reaches an age where it makes him uncomforta­ble, I’m sure he’ll let you know.

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