Daughter-in-law’s affair hurts family

Dear Abby: My daughter-inlaw had an affair with a co-worker and is now pregnant by him. She swears she loves my son and won’t leave him, but insists that her lover be a part of the baby’s life. My son is torn. They have two small children and he doesn’t want to break up the family. How can he continue to trust her?

My husband refuses to have her in our house. She can be vindictive to those she feels have “wronged” her, and I’m afraid she’ll keep us from the grandchildren. We sought legal advice for him and he knows the score in that regard. Abby, how can we make him see this woman is no good for him?

Heavy-Hearted Mother

Dear Mother: If I were you, I’d stop trying. Your son has made his choice, which is to keep his family together. If that means accepting that his wife will maintain a relationship with her lover and, in essence, her baby will have “two daddies,” that’s the way it’s going to be. While I understand your husband’s anger, as long as your son is willing to tolerate the situation, there is nothing to be gained by banning your daughter-in-law from the premises.

I’m sure he is fully aware that his wife isn’t “good” for him, but he’s trying to take the high road anyway. So try to be supportive.

Dear Abby: I met a woman who seems to be everything I have been looking for. We have similar interests and share many of the same goals.

My problem is I’m only 5-foot-9 and she’s six feet tall. Am I foolish for feeling like less of a man when in her company? What will people think?

Not So Tall

Dear Not So Tall: If you would allow a three-inch difference in height to keep you from pursuing a woman who “seems to be everything you’re looking for,” then you ARE foolish. Being taller than a woman doesn’t make a man more manly. What makes a man manly is his level of self-confidence, which you appear to lack. Until you understand and accept that what other people think is THEIR problem, I’m not sure you’ll find the happiness you’re looking for.