I learned to forgive school bullies

Dear Abby: I’m writing regarding “Lost for Words,” who skipped her 10-year high school reunion because she was bullied in school. (She is now receiving Facebook messages from former classmates who want to apologize.)

That letter could have been about me! I was bullied all through school, too.

Things were so bad I honestly don’t know how I kept it together. I never even told my parents how bad it was until years after I had graduated.

My class (1972) had their 10-year reunion and I went, although I almost didn’t because I was scared. When I got there, I was given hugs by classmates. Some of them apologized, and it was wonderful. I enjoyed myself so much that I helped organize our 20th and 25th reunions.

Counselling helped me to learn to deal with bad things in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I still have some issues and life isn’t always easy, but I have learned to let go and forgive these people. They, too, have grown up and are now mature adults who know right from wrong. Cathy In Esterhazy, Sask. Dear Cathy: Thank you for sharing your experience and insights along with many other readers who were bullied in school. One common denominator in their letters was the word “forgiveness.” Interestingly, I received none from the bullies themselves! Read on: Dear Abby: As middle school teachers, we do our best to curtail abuse, but it happens behind the scenes. The targets can remain bullied for years, as the writer expressed. It is sad that this person is affected to this day, 10 years after graduation.

I agree the target has no obligation to forgive the bullies, but this would be a perfect time to send a strong message to them via her Facebook page. An article on the effects of bullying could be posted with a message that if the bullies truly want forgiveness, they should pass this life lesson on to their children, who may be engaged in similar behaviour. Mary Ann In New York