Living with bipolar disorder
Mental illness often a daily roller-coaster
Graham’s first manic-depressive episode occurred in January 2009 while a student at Carleton University. When his roommates noticed his behaviour was a little “off,” he was taken to the hospital.
High-strung, rambunctious and full of energy, Graham, then 21, wasn’t sure what was wrong. His father Ian remembers that there was something off-kilter about his son over the Christmas holidays, but he couldn’t tell what it was.
Graham was admitted to the emergency department at the Ottawa Hospital, and later transferred to the psychiatric ward at the Civic campus where he was placed under observation.
Ian was working in Toronto and immediately caught a flight to Ottawa to visit his son. He was shocked when he saw his son among other patients in the psychiatric ward.
“He looked normal compared to other people in that ward. There was no outward thing about him other than he was tired,” says Ian, who runs a junior mining company in Toronto. (He did not want his last name used for this story).
Graham had developed a serious but undiagnosed sleep apnea condition and more frequently, he was turning to alcohol, drinking alone in his apartment to help him get through the day.
“It was a pretty dark time,” says Graham, 25, a second-year psychology student at Carleton University, about his drinking binges after the 2009 manic event.
Ian says seeing his son in the psychiatric ward was a real “wakeup call” for the family.
“My view then was that he didn’t belong there,” says Ian, adding his son spent 10 days in the ward.
Graham was placed on medication to cure his sleeping problem, but it wasn’t until three years later that he was diagnosed with bipolar and manic depression. And while everything appeared to be fine, it really wasn’t, he says.
“Most people would say that I was fine because there were no other manic episodes. But it isn’t a blackand-white thing. What they didn’t see was my depression, that’s more of a hidden thing,” he says.
“There were some times when I had intense depression,” says Graham, who is on medication for his depression. He’s cut back drinking alcohol, wears a mouth guard at night to help him with his sleep apnea and is getting As in his psychology subjects.
“I’m working hard to get through the hoops through good habits, including exercise, nutrition and sleep and developing study habits. I don’t do them perfectly, but I’m trying,” says Graham, who hopes to be a psychologist and possibly go to medical school.
“There is so much to hang on to now, and there’s much good happening in my life.”
Bipolar disorder or manic depression is described as a roller-coaster of emotions that can lift you up to a natural high and send you crashing down into depression. While most of us sometimes experience these “highs” and “lows” they generally don’t linger for extended periods.
About 10 per cent of Canadians experience a mood disorder at some point in their lives, reports the Canadian Mental Health Association. And the total number of 12- to 19-year-olds in Canada at risk for developing depression is a staggering 3.2 million, says the association.
Bipolar disorder generally affects teenagers and can last into adulthood. Just this week, Academy Award-winning actor Richard Dreyfuss talked about his battle with bipolar disorder, telling People magazine that there is no ”shame” in having depression. Catherine ZetaJones admitted to suffering from bipolar disorder and Canadian Olympian Clara Hughes opened up about her bouts of depression.
About one in five Canadians will develop a mental illness at some time in their lives, says the Canadian Mental Health Association. Mental health issues are talked about more, especially in the media and there’s an increased awareness through national mental health campaigns.
On Nov. 28, a talk titled Mental Health in Families: Dealing with Bipolar, Depression and Schizoaffective Disorder: Awareness, Support and Healing takes place at Ottawa’s Saint Paul University. Parents and children suffering from the disorder will discuss their experiences with bipolar disorder and depression, and the role of families to help those struggling with the disease.
Deborah says when her son Ryan was five years old, he had a brain tumour, which was successfully removed. She says he was a typical teenager but from ages 12 to 19 she saw a gradual change in him.
He became rebellious, was failing school and began experimenting with drugs, she says. She became frightened at the changes he was undergoing and sought to rescue her son from his downward spiral.
“The light had gone out of his eyes,” says Deborah, in describing her son’s fixed, blank expression. (She did not want to use her last name for this story).
She took him to a family doctor who diagnosed him with depression you’re on a steep learning curve.”
She says one way the family dealt with Ryan’s depression was through humour, joking with each other and laughing whenever possible.
“My husband is very funny, all my three boys are funny, so there was a lot of kidding around in the home. We took the time to laugh even though things were tough.”
Ryan, 31, who is in the communications program at York University in Toronto, recently started a Facebook page, Stigmafighter to highlight mental health issues. It has more than 7,000 followers.
“He has tremendous will and determination, but still struggles with his chronic sleep difficulties. But he has a good work ethic,” she says.
Ian, Graham and Deborah are among the guest speakers at Mental Health in Families organized by Martin Rovers, an Ottawa marriage and family therapist and a teacher at Saint Paul University. Rovers says the talk is designed to raise awareness about mental health and relationship issues.
“Bipolar has become a phrase that is often used even if you’re feeling a little happy and content. It’s like when you’re having a good day and a bad day,” says Rovers.
“The diagnosis of bipolar is very clear that it has to be a real cycle of up and down that lasts for about a week up and a week down. We all have down days and you have to be down for two weeks or more before you call it a depression.”
Rovers says the onslaught of bipolar disorder usually occurs from age 17 and up, according to recent health statistics. Parents should look for “manic phases” in teenagers because they can be cyclic and noticeable over a three-month period. He says an early sign is if their children are not sleeping well at night.
“The trouble with the manicdepressive, the bipolar, is that when people get into their manic state they think life is great, they have lots of energy and creativity. Then they go down into the depressive state and can’t accomplish anything.”
He says family therapy is beneficial in helping bipolar patients because it offers positive support mechanism and encouragement and prescribed medication. “I was so grateful that someone was listening to me,” she says about the early diagnosis. The medication helped but her son experienced two more “serious incidents” the following year so he was not closer to being fully recovered, she says.
Two years later, he was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, which resembles both schizophrenia and also serious mood (affective) symptoms. It is a serious mental illness that affects one in 100 people, according the U.S.-based National Alliance on Mental Illness.
Typically, a person with schizoaffective disorder will experience delusions, hallucinations and other symptoms that are characteristic of schizophrenia and significant disturbances in their mood.
“Ten years ago when this hit us, we felt totally and completely alone. We didn’t talk to anybody, we handled it ourselves and that was typical back then. That’s how powerful the stigma is.”
When a child succumbs to these diseases, it’s difficult for parents to handle, she says. “The child that you’ve known for many years is suddenly gone, they’ve been taken from you in the abstract sense. Then, you have to deal with an incredible sense of loss and grief and at the same time