Boyfriend’s dancing sparks anger
DEAR ABBY
Dear Abby: I have been dating my boyfriend, “Jose,” for a year. Before that, we were friends for five years. Ever since I’ve known him, he and his half-sister, “Blanca,” have danced together at parties. We’re all in our mid-20s.
I used to think it was cute, but now that Jose and I are a couple, I find it annoying and a little creepy. How can I make him understand how much this bothers me? Takes Only Two To Tango Dear Takes Only Two: If you want to hang onto Jose, simmer down and be less heavy-handed. Dictating who he can dance with only makes you appear to be jealous, insecure and controlling.
Because he and Blanca have danced together for so long, it’s understandable that she expects to dance with him. My advice is to be gracious and hold onto your temper, because if you don’t, your relationship with Blanca will no longer be friendly, and it could cost you your boyfriend. Dear Abby: My mother-in-law is a good person, but she never wants to be around us or our children. She lives only 30 minutes away, has only one child (my husband) and has been widowed for more than five years. She has never called our house, didn’t visit when the kids were born and usually mails gift cards at birthdays and Christmas.
My own mother died a few months ago. Our kids are almost 13 and 10, so they’re not babies anymore. I try to reach out to her, but she is cold and not responsive. What else can I do? No Grandma In Austin, Texas Dear No Grandma: What does your husband think about this? Has his mother always been this way? Could the problem be that she dislikes you or is disappointed in her son?
There is no way to force a connection on someone who is unwilling, and I’m not sure you would even want to.
It appears your mother-in-law isn’t maternal and prefers her independence. I’m sorry that your feelings are hurt, but if you crave closeness with an older woman, you will have to look elsewhere to find it. Dear Abby is written by Jeanne Phillips, daughter of Pauline Phillips, the original Dear Abby. Write Abby at www.DearAbby.com or c/o The Ottawa Citizen, Box 5020, Ottawa, K2C 3M4. For a reply, send a self-addressed envelope. Abby covers postage. Include name and phone number if you want your letter published.