Don’t sacrifice your life for loser

Dear Abby: I have been with my fiancé since 2006. We expected to be married in 2008, but my grandmother died a month before my wedding, and then he was arrested because of charges stemming from a sexual relationship he’d had with a 17-year-old girl he had been counselling.

Since then, we have had a daughter, but through it all there has been cheating, drugs, jail, no job, and constant excuses about why our sex life no longer exists. We have also had physical altercations, which he was arrested for.

I am no longer happy with this relationship. The only reason I stay is because of our children. I’m only 33 and don’t want to live my life in misery anymore, but I will sacrifice my happiness for my children. I am confused and don’t know what to do. I’m just going through the motions in life. I work full time, coach my son’s soccer team and am living with MS.

Please give me some advice. I have reached my breaking point. Doing The Best I Can

Dear Doing The Best You Can: You say you are willing to sacrifice your happiness with this loser for your children. Why? You are not married to him, and he is emotionally neglectful, physically abusive and contributes nothing financially. Admit to yourself that the “romance” has been a mistake, and as soon as it’s safe, get away from him. If he ever finds a job, the state will help you collect child support, but if he doesn’t, you’ll have one less mouth to feed.

Dear Abby: What do you say to your only son who can’t even call to tell you he is getting married? He posted it on Facebook, and I was notified via a text from my sister. Our relationship isn’t the issue. He just doesn’t seem to be able to use his phone for TALKING. Your thoughts? Outside The Loop In Oregon

Dear Outside The Loop: Because your son seems oblivious to the fact that news of this kind should be conveyed to the family personally rather than in a “bulletin,” EXPLAIN to him how it made you feel to receive the news the way you did. He owes you an apology.