THIS IS FIFA’S MOMENT OF TOOTH
Soccer’s governing body needs to throw book at Suarez after latest bite
Apparently the only way to stop Luis Suarez from biting people is to drive a stake through his heart.
Oh well. Just goes to show you can’t teach an old vampire new tricks.
Uruguay is shakily through to the Round of 16 on the strength of a dodgy expulsion, a familiar lack of attacking ambition by Italy throughout a dreadful first half and some I’m-da-boss refereeing from one Marco Rodriguez of Mexico, who quickly lost the plot and could never find it again.
In the fallout of the Azzurri’s tournament-ending 1-0 loss to Uruguay — marking consecutive World Cup group-stage exits for the four-time winners — Cesare Prandelli, only months after agreeing to a new two-year deal to run through Euro 2016, resigned his post as Italy manager.
“The technical project failed,” he said by way of explanation, “and it’s only right I take responsibility.” An unexpected end, to be sure. But Suarez’s front chompers, his proclivity to lapse into Bela Lugosi impersonations, will doubtless be the talking point everywhere.
Suarez booked his dinner reservation as Italian defender Giorgio Chiellini cut off the striker’s path to the net.
Then the king of overbite, feeling a rumbly in his tumbly, leaned in and ... well, tucked into Chiellini’s left shoulder like a famished George Foreman pouncing on a pork chop.
The forward head movement is indisputable. As are photos of Chiellini showing the bite marks to Rodriguez, who perhaps thought they’d been inflicted by a rogue monkey.
“It was absolutely shameful,” Chiellini fumed afterward. “The game was decided by the referee and if one team should’ve gone through it was us. Sending (Claudio) Marchisio off and not carding Suarez was decisive. There were other incidents and a different treatment in the first half, too.
“Suarez is a sneak and he gets away with it because FIFA want their stars to play in the World Cup. I’d love to see if they have the courage to use video evidence against him.
“The referee saw the bite mark too, but he did nothing about it.”
Significantly, the chomp occurred before Diego Godin headed home off a corner to provide Uruguay all they would need.
See one call one way, miss another entirely.
It happens, but from 0-0, 11-on11, to down 1-0, 10-on-11, is a massive difference.
“Uruguay were great and worked incredibly hard,” Suarez told the official FIFA media arm (while searching for a toothpick). “After starting our group badly, we deserved to turn the situation around.
“We haven’t got a drop of energy left, as it was so hot and the physical strain was remarkable. We kept our calm as the clock ticked on and eventually the goal we were waiting for arrived.”
Predictably, no one from the official FIFA media arm bothered to ask him about his binge eating problem.
The Italians were down to 10 men but defending stoutly after Marchisio had been rather harshly banished for high studs on Jose Gimenez in the 59th minute.
There was no malicious intent in the challenge. No jarring contact. Clumsy? Yes. Unnecessary? Definitely. Heinous? Not even close.
“It didn’t seem like a red-card offence,” griped Prandelli to Sky Sports Italia. “There were some tough tackles, but not worthy of a red card. It was a very balanced game. Uruguay never really had a shot on goal despite needing to win.
“It was a good match tactically and in my view the referee ruined it. He cannot give a red card in that situation, he just can’t.
“You work four years and then one red card can change everything.”
As much as things went against them on this day, the Italians are left to rue, as well, slipping back into old, tired ways.
This Italia, the (now-ended) Prandelli Italia, had been dubbed Tiki-Italia for its conversion to possession football. Well, they were up to their old tricks Tuesday. Absolutely no attacking ambition throughout a dreadfully dull first half. So dull that the petulant, pointless Mario Balotelli was subbed off.
Playing for the point that would see them through, they only began to show ambition after(!) they’d gone down in manpower and on the scoreboard.
And that, as he exits stage left, is on Prandelli.
Down the hallway, the stillemployed Uruguay manager Oscar Tabarez was indignantly referring to the “cheap morality” of anyone who would deign to judge Suarez for his peculiar behaviour.
“I haven’t seen the footage and I think the referee didn’t see the incident either,” said Tabarez in his media conference. “For me and all the Uruguayans, there were far more important things to talk about than this. Perhaps he’s made mistakes, but he remains the favourite target for certain media.
“People should just concentrate on him when he is on the field and he plays. Instead, there is an evident animosity toward him.”