A CULTURE OF RESPECT
Polite Tokyo impresses with grace and style
My first impression of Tokyo and Japan was of a clean, wellorganized, graffiti-free, litter-free world, filled with polite, non-hornhonking drivers, clutter-free balconies and immaculate urban landscaping.
But what also struck me was what a quiet city it is, considering it is one of the world’s largest, with 35 million people living within a 50-kilometre radius of the centre.
Quietness, politeness and respectful behaviour is deeply entrenched in the Japanese psyche. It is not feigned or cynically observed: It is a sincere and genuine sensibility, a core value of the society.
I loved this aspect of the culture immediately, and I grew to love it more and more during my 14-day stay leading a group of 40 on a garden tour from Tokyo to Takayama, Kanazawa and on to Kyoto, Nara and Osaka.
This respectfulness is most elegantly expressed in a simple hand gesture. The Japanese don’t point: They direct you to where you need to go, whether it’s your seat in a restaurant, the way to the exit or the invitation to step first into an elevator, with a graceful extension of the hand, palm facing up and fingers closed. It is a charming thing to see performed.
Bowing is a common practice, too. It is not a cultural cliché, cynically performed, but rather a universal gesture of respect.
One of my most memorable experiences was walking into one of Tokyo’s biggest department stores, when it had just opened, to find a row of people lined up outside each of the departments.
As I walked into the store, each person gently bowed. It became a little embarrassing after the eighth and ninth person lowered their head, but what I was also intensely aware of was that, while each person was bowing respectfully, they were not surrendering a shred of their own personal dignity. Their composure and self-dignity was completely undisturbed.
You receive this kind of treatment in restaurants and bars and hotels, and it sometimes comes across like a charming old-world dance move.
Another form of politeness I thought may have been a thing of the past, but is still rigorously and passionately adhered to, is the custom of removing shoes before stepping into a home, living area or traditional-style restaurants.
Some of Tokyo’s homeless are allowed to sleep at the train station once the last train has gone. Others put up small tents in the park behind city hall. But what you notice is that before settling into their temporary abode for the night they always remove their shoes and leave them off the mat or outside the tent — that’s how deeply entrenched the importance of shoe-removal is.
Even when people picnic under the cherry blossoms in the park — something I saw extensively in the Shinjuku Gardens — they remove their shoes before stepping onto the picnic blanket.
Politeness even extends to traffic signs. Along a highway out of Tokyo, I saw a sign showing the cartoon face of a sleeping person with a moon and a sprinkling of stars above their head. It was a request to motorists not to rev their engines or make unnecessary noise out of consideration for people trying to sleep in apartments nearby.
When I checked in to my hotel, the Keio Plaza in the Shinjuku neighbourhood, I received another cultural lesson: The Japanese not only love politeness, but also multifunctional, push-button toilets.
At first, I thought it was a joke. It struck me as an over-mechanized hospital toilet with the far too many buttons.
But no, each button performed a specific and practical function, including one that initiated a polite flushing sound (new models play music) and others to launch various washing functions with adjustable pressure control.
I was also delighted to find hotels in Japan always provide guests with yukatas — the lightweight, cottonequivalent of the classic kimono. They come with stylish slippers.
Within a few days, I discovered all sorts of other interesting, albeit
Bowing is a common practice, too. It is not a cultural cliché, cynically performed, but rather a universal gesture of respect.
sometimes quirky, things about the Japanese sensibilities.
Public displays of affection, for instance, are frowned upon. You don’t see any hand-holding, kissing, hugging or overt gestures — even loud talking. I was told these expressions are thought to be intimate and private and not for public display.
When you leave a restaurant or hotel, it is not unusual for the staff to gather at the door and wave goodbye — and keep waving and bowing and waving until you are completely out of sight.
Walking the streets of Tokyo, night or day, even in the bustling “Night Town” areas around Shinjuku was a pleasure. I always felt safe, and within a short time started to realize that I was surrounded by people who would willingly give me help at the drop of a hat.
It was a reassuring feeling, especially not to have people coming up to beg or pressure me to buy this or that.
Taxis in Japan are delightful. Who doesn’t love a clean, efficient taxi? Japanese taxis set the world standard, as far as I’m concerned. I took them in Tokyo and Kyoto. They are clean, quiet and odour-free. The back door opens automatically. Tipping is discouraged. Drivers invariably wear white gloves. You can’t help but feel special, as if you have your own chauffeur.
The biggest challenge in Japan was the food. I love sushi, but Japanese food is way beyond sushi. They eat every kind of seafood, including jellyfish, octopus — you name it — a lot.
The good news is that many restaurants have three-dimensional, full-colour plastic replicas of dishes displayed in the window or outside. Or, they have photographs in menus or in the windows, so you can just point (or gesture) to order, though sad as that may sound, it works.
I had at least three Japanese banquet dinners during my stay, each served to me as I sat shoeless with legs in a trench under the table.
At each of these banquets, I had to cook meat in a boiler in the centre of the table. I ate fish with the heads on and, well, every kind of fish — but also very fresh vegetables.
At one point, my group had a sushi-making lesson, and we learned how to finger-press rice into the perfect shape and smear it with wasabi, creating a variety of items for lunch. It was fun, and what we created turned out to be delicious.
The Japanese like to eat a diverse range of small portions — of as many things as possible. Variety is the spice of life when it comes to their dietary choices.
In Tokyo, there is no shortage of things to do. The Ginza shopping district is top-notch, especially the food sections at the department stores, where items are exquisitely displayed like works of art.
In the Mitsukoshi store, you can buy a light lunch and carry it to the sunny roof-garden terrace where you can dine and enjoy the city view.
The Asakusa area is another exciting place to visit, with its seventh-century Senso-ji Buddhist temple and Denboin traditional garden and streets crammed with stalls and gift shops.
This is a good place to buy a kimono. In fact, you see dozens of young girls walking in colourful kimonos in the street as unpaid ambassadors for the district.
Shinto shrines and Buddhist temples abound. At the famous Meiji Shrine, you first learn the act of spiritual cleansing. This involves taking a wooden cup attached to a long handle to scoop water with which you first wash your left hand, then your right hand before touching your lips with water to conclude the ritual.
Attending a baseball game is something I would recommend. A number of us from my group decided to do this together. We went to see the Yakult Swallows take on the Yomiuri Giants at the Jingu Stadium.
I rooted for the Swallows, the home team. Every time they scored, fans would open umbrellas and sing a song.
At the game, young women walk around dispensing beer, using a tap attached to a beer reservoir which they carry as a backpack. It is one of the most unusual delivery systems I have ever seen.
When we left Tokyo, we travelled on one of Japan’s lightning quick bullet trains. Getting on and off the train is something that needs to be done quickly and expertly. You get two minutes maximum. When schoolchildren take the train, they practise getting on and off in the classroom well ahead of time, to get the move down precisely.
Saying goodbye is also something we westerners have to learn to say properly, I was told.
“You don’t just say the word; you say it with a tear in your voice as if you were weeping.
“When you just say the word, it sounds as if you mean, ‘Good, I am glad to be going.’ But when you say it the right way, with a tearful tone, it means ‘I am so sad and don’t want to leave you.’ ”
Sayonara, Japan.