Family finds support as boy’s surgery nears
Community raises $36,000 to help with expenses for Lavictoire family
Todd Lavictoire was driving his three kids to their grandparents’ house when he got a call from his wife, who was sobbing. She had just been informed by their family doctor that their eldest son, Ethan, had a lesion on his brain.
“I started crying instantly,” he said.
Lavictoire said he thinks Ethan, who was nine at the time, was oblivious to what it all meant. Ethan, now 11, will undergo brain surgery next week at the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto to remove a slow-growing lesion located on the language centre of his brain.
“I was really scared, I thought it was hereditary and he was going to go through the same thing that his grandmother went through,” Lavictoire said. “One of the reasons Amanda’s mom passed away so soon was because they missed so much of the tumours. We’re holding onto the fact that they’re going to get it all.”
Ethan’s grandmother, Elizabeth Avent, died in 2004 at the age of 48 after battling brain cancer.
At three years old, Ethan had strabismus, which caused his right eye to turn in, resulting in double vision and regular headaches. At the age of eight, he had surgery to realign both eyes, and while his eyesight improved, the migraines lingered.
Ethan has learned how to handle his headaches, often scurrying away to his room when he feels his head pounding or jumping into the shower and using the hot water to soothe his upper back, neck and head. Lavictoire said the headaches, which can happen up to five days a week, were so relentless that they would leave his son feeling nauseous and weak.
More than 400 people donated to an online funding campaign (now closed), which raised about $36,000 and features a six-minute video montage of Ethan and his family.
Lavictoire said he has a difficult time explaining why Ethan’s “story has resonated so much with people,” but as yoga instructors he and his wife are routinely sent patients who need help learning to cope with pain. Now others, including those who have gone through brain surgery themselves, have rushed to help the family in their time of need.
Lavictoire said he has been overwhelmed by the support from the Ottawa community and feels humbled when he sees the amount of money raised as “we’re feeling crushed by our debt, we’re feeling like the house was falling apart.”
The money will be used to create a space dedicated to Ethan’s recovery and will help cover the cost of the family’s trips to and from Toronto for visits to Sick Kids, which can be up to $1,000 per visit. It will also allow Amanda to take three months off work to take care of Ethan.
“I feel a need that once we’re through all of this to pay it forward,” Lavictoire said.
“Now that we’re in the homestretch, he’s thinking about the surgery a lot more,” said Lavictoire, who has been trying to get his son to open up about how he’s feeling about the surgery. “He re- ally doesn’t want to talk about it.”
On the outside, Ethan is calm and collected, said Lavictoire, but he fears his son is bottling up his anxieties about the big day. He is “being very brave,” Lavictoire said, but as a parent that doesn’t make him any less nervous. Lavictoire says he can’t help but worry about the potential risks involved with the surgery.
He said the surgery will also act as a biopsy to determine if the lesion is one of two types that doctors have been successful at eradicating.
After Ethan’s brain has been mapped out, Lavictoire understands that surgeons will have a challenging task to remove the lesion, and will have to take a winding route by approaching it from the bottom.
Following the surgery, Ethan will be monitored to guard against swelling of the brain during the healing process. If all goes well, Ethan will only remain in hospital for four days after the surgery, be on bed rest for two weeks and then on reduced activity for another six weeks.
Through the entire ordeal, Lavictoire said he has been happy to see his son, who he describes as a quiet, thoughtful, considerate kid who’s a big fan of Lego and Lord of the Rings, come out of his shell and become a little more confident.
“I just want him to live through the surgery,” he said. “If he lives through it, I think we can deal with anything.”