Trite transport — the most clichéd vehicles of 2015
Stereotypes are unavoidable, so here are the most hackneyed cars in the automotive world
Everyone knows books should not be judged by their covers, yet how many of us have judged a stranger by the car they drive?
As in life, looks are important, and human nature allows for stereotypes of certain vehicles and their drivers, turning them into clichés.
Here’s a look at 10 new clichéd cars to be wary of:
2015 VOLKSWAGEN BEETLE CONVERTIBLE
The Volkswagen Rabbit Convertible was perhaps the all-time greatest co-ed car in automotive history. It was cute, huggable and adored by dorms full of female college students. The current Volkswagen Beetle Convertible continues to attract the same adoration, offering plenty of headroom under its cloth top, room for girlfriends and their phones in the back, and clichéd retro styling in one cuddly package. Granted, for the budget-minded, the Beetle Cab at $26,850 (all prices are base MSRP) might suggest those students have learned to pick out a bargain when they see one.
2015 LINCOLN NAVIGATOR
Despite a thorough redesign for 2015, the Lincoln Navigator is still the go-to, clichéd ride for those whose business is probably illegal. As a utility vehicle, the $75,110 full-sized ‘Gator has many charms. There’s a bachelor apartment-sized interior, massive ground clearance and towering height, and plenty of cargo space in the stretched L version. Trouble is, the mechanically identical Ford Expedition starts at $49,299. Regardless, the big SUV remains the favoured ride for those who either want to make a statement or continue to deal in suspicious trades.
2015 TOYOTA PRIUS
Nothing says you love trees — or want to be seen as a lover of trees — more than the $26,205 Toyota Prius gas-electric hybrid. The world’s bestselling hybrid also announces to the world that its owners aren’t overly interested in going anywhere quickly (with just 134 horsepower on board, Prius owners measure acceleration by the hour). And with its hearselike quietness, non-linear brakes, chubby handling and steering so numb you’ll want to make sure the Toyota’s wheels are still on the ground, it’s clear Prius owners might like their cars, but they love their bicycles.
2015 LAMBORGHINI HURACAN LP 610-4
Founded by disgruntled Ferrari owner and Italian tractor magnate Ferruccio Lamborghini in 1963, no new automobile screams “I hate Ferraris!” more than a Lambo. Every car that has rolled out of the automaker’s Bolognese factory ever since has been a onefingered salute to Enzo himself. Take, for instance, the $260,990 Lamborghini Huracan LP 610-4. Its engine betters a more expensive Ferrari 458 Italia’s firepower, then adds all-wheel drive, two additional cylinders and in-yourface looks.
2015 CHEVROLET CORVETTE STINGRAY
The calling card of those who wear gold chains, Oakleys and Hawaiian shirts, the Chevrolet Corvette has, for more than 60 years, been the quintessential clichéd sports car for middle-aged males acknowledging that five decades have passed them by. While the latest C7 version is a much better sports car from those of yore, it remains a symbol for those who have suddenly recognized their mortality and want to do something about it. The best part? The base Corvette Stingray Coupe’s $59,215 starting price — chump change for the aging demographic that has always wanted a Corvette and now, with kids out of the house, can finally afford one.
2015 FORD MUSTANG V6
It would be silly to think women can’t also suffer a crisis in their middle years. To help alleviate such issues, many women can regain that feeling of youth by splurging on a base Mustang V6. In the past, the V6 Mustang wasn’t exactly a quality piece of kit. But the all-new 2015 ‘Stang is leaps and bounds ahead of its predecessors in regards to sophistication and refinement. And its $24,999 starting price leaves lots of pocket change for time at the spa.
2015 LEXUS ES 350
In the real estate game, it’s all about perception. Not as pretentious as those snotty German brands that give the impression your agent’s commission is too high, the $41,600 Lexus ES 350 luxury sedan is a little more upscale than a four-door from a more plebeian brand. This way, clients think they’re working with a winner. That’s why the ES 350 is fantastic at coddling clients and has become the perfect, right-downthe-middle choice clichéd car for real estate agents.
2015 FORD TAURUS
With faded memories of the old Ford Crown Victoria, retirees love Ford’s Taurus sedan. And why not? The big American four-door offers acres of sheet metal for the money. Prices start at a pension-friendly $29,849 for the base, front-drive SE models, and there’s plenty of room for grand kids in the back or golf clubs in the trunk, or perhaps vice versa. Even when snowbirds hit Florida for their annual winter escape, they’ll fit right in, because the Ford sedan is plenty popular with rental car agencies in the Sunshine State.
2015 PORSCHE CAYENNE V6
Why should your spouse be the only one in the family with a Porsche? That seems to be the reasoning behind the official vehicle of Trophy Wives — the V6powered Cayenne. The trouble is, as a driving machine to match the 911 Carrera, the base model Cayenne comes up short in both the performance and value departments. You want proof? The $67,400 Porsche shares the same basic platform and its 300-horsepower V6 engine with Volkswagen’s far less pretentious $49,675 Touareg.
2015 TESLA MODEL S
Software moguls — and those whose tech companies just got purchased — love the all-electric $82,270 Tesla Model S sedan. Spring for the top-line $121,270 P85D version and you’ll get 691 horsepower, all-wheel drive, a 405-km estimated range, a zeroto-100 km/h sprint time of 3.4 seconds and a top speed of 250 km/h. But the lack of a proper public charging infrastructure and the extra weight incurred by all that EV hardware makes the Tesla an instant cliché for buyers with more money than brains. Still, who wouldn’t want to oneup their Ferrari-buying chums, cliché or not?